How to support my friend whose mom has Leukemia?

Posted by Aperson @tenleyv, Mar 14, 2023

My friend's mom was recently diagnosed with Leukemia. I want to support her all that I can but, I don't know what she needs. Any suggestions?

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@tenley That's very kind of you to be thinking of your friend like this! I bet she may be feeling pretty overwhelmed about now. Offer to go with her for lunch, or coffee, give her space to talk about all she is feeling. Gift her a small journal and nice pen so she can write her thoughts down. Let her know that you don't forget her. Giver her space to breathe. Let her sit next to you, perhaps without even saying a word, just to be there in support.

Do any of these sound doable?
Ginger

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Thank you for the suggestions. We are in middle school so I might not be able to take her out anywhere but I will definitely get her a journal.

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I'm guessing she is scared and doesn't know what the future without her mom will be like. Maybe just do like Ginger said sit with her and let her talk. You're a good friend.

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My friend was recently diagnosed with AML leukemia, I just text her and let her know I am here for her.I also went on Mayo connect and found many people who had survived and gave her their words of encouragement along with doing some research. The other thing I have been doing is sending her Harry and David baskets with fresh fruit and chocolates. I also send her a card every week! Something humorous . It’s actually difficult to know what to do as she doesn’t want to keep repeating everything to everyone.

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@tenleyv

Thank you for the suggestions. We are in middle school so I might not be able to take her out anywhere but I will definitely get her a journal.

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@tenleyv, I agree with @casey1329, you are a good and thoughtful friend. A journal is a great idea. You might also find more ideas in this guide:
- Support for Teens When a Family Member Has Cancer https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/coping/caregiver-support/teens

Let's face it. When you're in middle school, all you want to think about is you, relationships, school and the future. Having to deal with a parent with serious illness wasn't in the plan. This is a big load for your friend and I'm glad that she has you. I might add one thing to the suggestions you've gotten so far. Allow your friend just to be a middle schooler. It's okay to talk about boys, laugh at Tik tok videos, and just forget too. You're somebody who gets it.

How is she doing?

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Pretty well. Her mom is scheduled to get a marrow transplant in May because it is her best chance.

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@tenleyv

Pretty well. Her mom is scheduled to get a marrow transplant in May because it is her best chance.

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@tenleyv There area number of us in the blood cancer support group who have also had bone morrow transplants for leukemia. I’d encourage your friend and her mom to join our forum just as you have to connect with members who have gone through this same experience.
I’m posting a link below to one of several support group conversations for members who have had bone marrow transplants. I’m coming up on my 4th re-Birthday…the 4 celebration of life after transplant. It’s been an amazing journey so far and well worth the effort. It’s given me a second chance at life and hope for a lengthy future.

Will soon have a Bone Marrow Transplant: What can I expect?
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/bmt/
Your friend and her mom are both experiencing different aspects of her mom’s disease…how are they coping?

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Hi @tenleyv How is your friend’s mother doing with her AML treatment? Was she able to have her bone marrow transplant?

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She headed out to Seattle with her family last week. I haven't heard anything yet.

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