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I am a bad caregiver and I feel like I can't do it anymore
Caregivers | Last Active: Jul 16, 2023 | Replies (38)Comment receiving replies
New Update - I went to the hospital again today and stayed for about 9 hours to watch and see. The PT people could not get him up to walk as blood came gushing out of his graft area when he stood up. Then a "resident" came in the room to speak to us about the blood bandage which she would not change because the surgeon is very particular about her patients' care. While she was there she wanted to discuss his discharge, again I told her that I could not care for him at this point. I told her he can't get out of bed, he is unable to ambulate alone, and he is not able to shower, or toilet unaided. He refuses to use his feeding machine for his feeding tube at home and wants me to bolus feed him, with my carpal tunnel I can't push the syringes to feed him. He has 4 drains in his chest, and I don't understand how he can come home with them in place. The worst part is that he and I agreed and told the attending doctor that he needs to go to a SNF. The resident and a few CNAs have scared him with stories of the facilities holding patients against their will after they are well enough to come home. We cannot get home health care where we live, the hospital has already checked this out, so I would have to do everything unaided. I asked him in your current situation do you think I will be able to take care of you and he said no, So if we have talked to the social worker, the hospital ombudsman, and several physicians and can't get the help he needs what more can I do???
Replies to "New Update - I went to the hospital again today and stayed for about 9 hours..."
Have everyone reevaluate him for a skilled facility.Even if it is rehab .That's what I had to do for my husband it was the best 10 days for his health and mine .Good luck keep fighting .♥️🙏
SNF cannot hold patient against their will. Medicare and US News rate SNFs -- take a look at the ratings and read comments
https://www.medicare.gov/care-compare/?redirect=true&providerType=NursingHome
https://health.usnews.com/best-nursing-homes
If your husband is a medicare patient and the hospital is discharging him before he is ready for discharge, call Livanta (Medical Quality) and file an appeal. This will give you at least 2-3 more days in the hospital while Livanta completes their invesitigation, longer if Livanta agrees he is not ready for discharge. If not Medicare, the social worker should give you appeal instructions. https://www.verywellhealth.com/how-to-fight-a-hospital-discharge-2614873
I don't often recommend such drastic action, but in your case, since you have tried going through "chain of command" get in touch with both the Medical Director and the Hospital Administrator and explain what you are going through. You both may need to be obstinate about not budging on this matter until the holiday weekend is over, and people are back at their desks.
I am not sure where you are located, but many hospitals have rehab units within them to which they send patients who are not ready to go home. Or they have a contract with a nearby hospital which does have a unit. In that unit, they do rigorous PT & OT as well as constant assessment to determine when the patient is ready for release and what the next step will be.
Sometimes you can appeal to your insurance company for assistance. And if your husband is 60 or older, your state probably has an Office of Senior Services where you can appeal for help.
Please keep coming back and sharing, and we will keep tryin to help you find a resolution.
Sue
Yolande,
Thinking of you and wondering if you were able to get some help with your husband?
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My brother in law had a serious leg infection that allowed the doctor to send him to a rehab facility because he was 84 and lived alone and could not care for himself. Is there any chance that this might be possible for your husband. I am so sorry that you both are going through this.