I always feel so strange, I just need to rant

Hello, @ilovecats110600, you said, "I feel like I’m about to lose everything. I don’t really want to get into details as to why, " . . . I think those details may be important here, since I'm having a hard time picturing exactly what is going on. The same for the 'toxic relationship'--can you explain that more?
Also, you said you are using a natural supplement. May I ask what, how long you've been using it, and how much? Was this your idea, your parents' idea, or the suggestion of a health care practitioner or someone else?
For now, I can tell you one quick and easy exercise that some people find helpful for calming down when things feel overwhelming; it's just a simple breathing exercise: You hold out one hand in front of you, and with your other hand you trace up from the bottom of the outside of your thumb, breathing in, and then breathe out as you slowly trace down the inside of your thumb. You repeat this with your pointer-finger and your entire hand, breathing slowly in and out as you trace.
Another DIY option is to find a calming phrase or phrases that you can repeat in your head as you slowly breathe in and out. Something like "I am calm." (breathing in) "I am healthy." (keeping the fresh air in your lungs for a second) "I am safe and whole." (breathing out). Okay, that's a sort of weak example, but you get the idea:)
I'm sure someone else will have some input also. You are definitely not the only person to have ever struggled with this sort of thing.

@ilovecats110600 Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I'm really glad you found us, and feel safe enough to share. While it would be great to hear more details of the "why" I can understand your reluctance at the moment. Perhaps in the near future you will feel comfortable to share.

At this age you are, our emotions/feelings/thinking patterns are all a jumble. At least mine sure were! I was also going through some terrifying thought patterns, and exposure to unhealthy things, at that age. If I could have voiced my concerns, my father might have been open to me seeking help, but my mother would have given me a lot of pushback, so i never said anything. I kept it all inside, except for my writing. For me that was a game-changer, putting things down in words. Poems, essays, observations, journaling. Have you tried doing that? In fact, I do that even to this day when it feels overwhelming. Take a look at our journaling support thread: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/journaling-the-write-stuff-for-you/ and perhaps you'll want to give it a try!

If you do not have access to a teen center, or youth group to connect with who may be available to help you. what @scolio suggested may help you: calming breathing exercises, or engaging in a hobby you find pleasure in. Do you have a close friend you can confide in? A favorite aunt/uncle/cousin? A creative outlet?

Will you let us know if any of these ideas appeal to you, and may be something you will consider, please? we're here for you!
Ginger

Hi, sorry I took a bit to get back to you. I do like to write things down in my journal, and to further answer the reply above yours, I’m about to lose someone I love very much, it’s kind of embarrassing so I don’t really want to say more than that. They aren’t dying. I also write a lot of music, i feel a lot better when I write and I feel better when I’m working on making music. But unfortunately, I just have my mom, my dad and my brother. I don’t have a single friend. My brother and my dad don’t listen to me, and I know my mom gets sick of hearing it. Although she has experienced the same thing I’m experiencing. Everyday I’m reminded that everyone ignores me. Im also just incredibly concerned about rare diseases like brugada disease and long qt syndrome that could kill me in my sleep. Although, my family has no history of sudden death and or cardiac arrest, and no real issues with any sort of cardiac issues. It just constantly consumes my mind

This sounds so frightening. Please ask your parents to take you to a doctor. I can't imagine why they don't want to. Hugs - Kathleen

@ilovecats110600 The sensation of anxiety is beastly. I empathize with you as I’ve had anxiety off and on for most of my life. When I was your age I didn’t know that’s what I felt. I just knew it didn’t feel “right” and I was frightened so much of the time.

You wrote that your parents won’t take you to see your family doctor. Is it possible to see a mental health therapist who specializes in anxiety? If not, then do you have a pastor, priest, or rabbi you can talk with? Many of the faith-based leaders in communities have had extensive training in counseling.

For now I will reassure you that much of what you are thinking and feeling, as you wrote it, sounds like intense anxiety to me. When intense anxiety happens our thoughts go wild and to the most catastrophic places that you would never think of otherwise. It might help to know that anxiety is there for a reason. It’s meant to help you to preserve your own life and the lives of those around you. That was helpful to us hundreds and thousands of years ago, as human beings, but not so helpful now when there is no specific threat you can see or hear. You do mention that you are about to lose someone you love. Is that the relationship you wrote about? If yes, then this is something that can cause great anxiety and you can work through that with a mental health professional.

Will you let me know if any of my suggestions might work for you?

Hello, yes that is wonderful that you use a journal! The more of that you can do, the better. You can also write letters to specific people, real or imagined, without ever sending them. And as someone else suggested, writing poetry can be a good creative outlet also. With any writing, in your journal or poems or letters, you can even sketch out and compose and revise what you want to say, in your head, before even writing them down.

You could brainstorm some other creative outlets and see if any of them might appeal to you-- singing, drawing and sketching, or even gardening. Many people find these things helpful.

Are your parents interested in natural remedies? One suggestion that I have seen (for some people) for anxiety is low doses of magnesium. You can ask your parents if they want to research that with you and your health care provider(s). One downside of magnesium is that too much can lead to temporary digestive side effects, so you would want to research that and make a decision about whether to try a very small dose (like less than one regular dose by splitting pills in half or smaller for example). Some people suggest taking it in the evening.
You also said something about feeling nauseous when you are very anxious. Have you tried keeping a diary of your foods you've eaten and your symptoms (anxiety, nausea, etc) to see if you can find any patterns? This is something that has helped me with a different problem (migraines).