Dear Yolanda,

Your story is so difficult, and I fully understand your feeling pushed to the brink. Caregiving is hard. Put your foot down and DEMAND some resources. SNF will give you a little respite, or if they really feel strongly it’s a no, see if your insurance will cover some in house nursing. I was a caregiver for over 3 years and know how tough it gets. I ended up working with my own therapist weekly, which helped a lot. You have to prioritize yourself and fight the isolation that caregivers often end up in. Do you belong to any church or part of a community? I had a Caring Bridge site where I requested specific help from friends. Meals, people to come walk with my husband, sometimes just a request for cards. The cards uplifted both of us, and gave us an opportunity to reminisce about how we knew each person. It also gave us an opportunity to talk about something other than his sickness. You have to fight letting your world get 100% focused on illness. Finally, don’t discount the value of some medication for yourself. I benefited immensely from meds that helped manage anxiety. Normally I am super calm, but like you, was pushed to the limit. Hang in there, and hands on your back from this group. My husband recovered and life is so much sweeter now. I hope you get the same outcome.