Dealing with a spouse who has profound hearing loss.

Thank you for not getting out off by my snarky response, Julie. Why indeed? My husband’s hearing loss, coupled with his stroke, has severely impacted my life - a point to which he seems pretty oblivious, in spite of my frequent reminders!!!!
I will say that the medical community has provided woefully little guidance in managing both conditions, and that his inclination to try to “manage it himself” has not been helpful. And I do have to add that all these technologies and gadgets would drive me crazy.
That having been said, I am really struggling to figure out how to manage this state of affairs. I do hope that HLAA can help us get through this. Thanks again for your input.

Well Girl, will we ever be able to understand the ways of men and illness?! LOL
My suggestion would be to consider doing signing lessons together. My daughter and I did this some years ago... it was fun and we still use the signs.
Now that my genetic hearing loss is progressing, that 'fun stuff' will prove very helpful.

Hearing Loss of an Aging Man: From my personal experience and research, hearing loss is a lot more than a physical thing to deal with. It is a whole person thing to include emotional, mental, relational, and spiritual levels for many men. It is a constant reminder of aging debility and mortality that impacts a man's perspective of his masculinity and life purpose. Sp how to deal with it? Tools Mindset...many men use tools in their life's work whether blue or white collar work we use tools and when we talk tool language it makes more sense because we use tools to fix stuff. Get to know the tools a man uses and equate hearing tools to link to a man's tool mindset. Start off slow with tools. Get positive hearing power tools and experiences with AfterShokz, Earbuds, Closed Captioning smart phone apps like Hamilton Captel, Olelo, or Nagish. Many men typically love power tools (chainsaws, guns, hammers, saws, computers, vehicles, etc.) because they associate it with being powerful so tools that empower men more not from deficit are more readily pursued. The power of the computer is in the ears now with hearing aids and eventually they learn these are the new power tools and want them, especially if they can compare them to others with a less fortunate or without tools. Then the added sell is avoidance, is the realities of losing independence (all want) because hearing loss research associates with increased risk of dementia, falls, depression, loneliness, isolation and the biggest fear loss of independence. I hope this is helpful, it is my lived "man experiences" and may or may not apply to others...good hunting.

Thank you!

You have mentioned several tools that I don't know about. Thank you.

You are welcome!

He has not been evaluated for a cochlear implant. Somehow he's afraid of even considering that. His audiologist is very pleasant but has done a poor job of suggesting anything beyond a hearing aid. He has recently ordered ear molds and a Roger On, at the suggestion of our wonderful local HLAA members. I am hopeful that they can guide him in other useful devices. He can be stubborn and wants to "manage this himself."

I've been packing and 'heading north' for the summer, so missed your response. Due to my husband's disability related to bad legs and back, I've been doing most of the packing, hauling, lifting, carrying, etc. I understand how someone else's physical problems can affect a spouse's life. (We are both 81, so not exactly spring chickens.) I'm still going pretty strong and have to often remind myself of how he has lived with and tolerated my progressive hearing loss over our 57 years of marriage. The divorce rate among younger couples when one has a hearing loss is high...or was, when I was dealing with this in middle age.

HLAA was a godsend to me, and to us. Just learning I wasn't alone was huge. I got involved and he supported my involvement. I am grateful for that, and for his support on my involvement over many years. I hope you and your husband have a good experience with HLAA. Know that it takes time and that answers don't come in a basket you can carry home and delve into for all the answers. There is a lot to learn. People who are willing to learn benefit the most. Family support matters! My granddaughter and I recently published a book on how she, as a small child, knew that my 'difference' required different strategies from her to connect. She, of course, as a little kid didn't know it was a hearing problem. Fun to discuss this with her as an adult.

Wishing you both the best.

I should add that the Roger device might be an opening to better communication. It's a good product. Be sure to have your husband ask about the telecoils when he's comfortable with that.

And tell him to insist on getting some counseling from the audiologist.

The CI option is always there. Age should not be a factor in going for that option if/when the time is right.

Where can I get this book? It sounds very helpful.