Wow, if I was there right now, and I was your Mom, I'd give you a hug. I'm not sure what to say next - you do need an answer to what is going on, but with all of the tests that have been done, it seems pretty certain that you do not have an immediately life threatening illness, so your next step is to figure out how you will live with whatever condition(s) you may have.
So please bear with me for a minute while I talk to you like the Mom that I am. It is important to separate "what is wrong with me" from "who I am." Would you answer my questions, so I can get a sense of who you are underneath the feelings of illness?
First, what did you do "BI" (before illness.) School, work, family, hobbies? Do you think some specific traumatic event or illness triggered this long string of problems? Or do you just feel new symptoms all the time? Do old symptoms go away?
Second, are you getting any help for your anxiety and depression? Medication? Counseling? Both? This is VERY important because when our brain isn't behaving properly, neither does our body react normally to pain or stress.
Third, you mentioned marijuana use - really bad for anyone with depression or anxiety, especially if you are getting from friends or on the street. Please stop using it, and any other street chems you may be trying to feel better. Also, if you use alcohol, it can contribute to both depression and anxiety.
Next, let's talk about what used to motivate you before this started - what did you enjoy doing? Were you working or going to school? Do you live alone or with family? Just trying to find some place to start you on the road to thinking of yourself as a person with a problem to solve, not a helpless collection of symptoms.
Everybody "doesn't feel good" sometimes, the difference is how we choose as our response to it. Can you think of one single thing that you can do this weekend to feel better?
Sue
I lived a completely normal confident life before this. I was great. I definitely know that I have something due to blurred vision, mentally different and physically different. I didn't celebrate Christmas or my birthday because I was laying around feeling junky. I wake up feeling hungover. I don't don't drink. I smoke occasionally. Not the issue. I've completely stopped to see if that would help. My hemoglobin and hemocrits are steady rising and before being borderline anemic and now being complete opposite I can see something is wrong my body. If it's as simple as a cold or as serious as cancer. I know I need it fixed. But I don't have allergies. I'm on anxiety medication and nothing I do on the weekends will make this go away. There is a tiny something off in my body and I feel this is why it's a struggle to figure it out. A lot of people have said lupus. I'm just not sure. It's not polycythemia vera because Jak 2 was negative