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Caregiver: Dealing with delirium, confusion after long hosptial stay
Caregivers | Last Active: May 6, 2023 | Replies (21)Comment receiving replies
Hi, thank you!
I really am struggling alone. Today I had a full day of work (working from home). It was the first day that my father snuck out of the house and walked to the nearest bar for some beers, knowing full well he isn't supposed to drink any alcohol at the moment. He ended up walking there with house slippers, soiled clothing and no wallet, keys or cell phone.
I've realized today that I cannot keep him safe 24/7 and I need to do something. I know he will be safer and better taken care of in a home where there are nurses and help whenever he needs it, plus I will also have some peace of mind, finally. But, it will be absolutely impossible to convince him that he needs to leave home and move into a facility better suited for him. He will never, ever, ever, ever consider it, no matter what. So in that case, I have no clue what to do. I cannot pull him out kicking and screaming and he won't voluntarily go either.
I feel trapped.
Replies to "Hi, thank you! I really am struggling alone. Today I had a full day of work..."
You cannot make him go anywhere unless you have guardianship appointed by the courts(in the US).
Even after my brother got court appointed guardianship, our Dad cut off his wander guard and eloped from the nursing home. When we found out where he was, the police went there. They said they could not remove him against his will because he was not in any danger.My brother had to go to court and get an order of removal before they would do anything.
Have you thought of having non-alcoholic beer at home? Our Dad was satisfied with that-but we never let him see the can and poured it in a glass. He liked it with a meal.
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You may have to deal with social workers if someone reports that he is wandering around in slippers etc.
You can talk with his doctor, find a place for him, and call an ambulance.
Some people take the person out while another person moves furniture and personal stuff in the new place.
These are all hard on you-and him. In my opinion and experience it was easier moving the parent from rehab or even a geriatric psych. unit, to the new place. Both situations would involve professionals who could advise you and actually make him move.