Endless withdrawal from benzos and pregabalin

I so wish that there were doctors out there to help with dosing marijuana. I did use tinctures for a couple of years; if you feel over-medicated, you just take more CBD to calm it down. I think the 1:1 hybrids are easier to deal with. I switched to gummies just because they were not as dependent on my creating doses, and the newer versions are "nano" and you do not smell or taste the mj. I like Oh Geez. It helps, along with yoga at night, to relax my tension so I sleep better. I think U of Maryland is starting a Master's program. My husband is on the road with dementia and we went to a neuro psychologist for testing. So far, we have instituted coping skills like one uses for attention deficit--lists, large labels on meds--but taking over the planning oversight for the household is wearing. I need to locate a self help caregiver group. I don't know about Vietnam (college days, lived in Saudi) but I think middle east tours-particularly numerous tours--is too much for most. I think you should go for all the benefits you can: they are there for you. I did see a video where marijuana helped with parkinsons, but it was just following one guy. Just deal with today...

I was recently evaluated by an outsourced veteran rep for PD. I'm now waiting for the results--told it might take at least six weeks. In the mean time, the earliest neurology appointment available is at the end of June. My wife and close friends say they're noticing dementia. I keep repeating myself, so it's beginning to sink in for me--long-time friends are beginning to stay out of touch. I plan to see a neuro-psych, but that's going to be several months down the line. As far as medical marijuana goes, there are several clinics in Monterey, CA, not far from me. I've tried gummies, which did little if anything, and then tried tinctures--difficult to find the right dosage. I did take too much and had a bad reaction after finally falling asleep after having not had any sleep at all for more than 48 hrs. I'm bipolar and was still manicky when I awoke several hours later, and felt jittery and paranoid. It was only a quarter of a dropper of Indica which should have had a relaxing effect, but everyone reacts differently to med's and herbs. I'm having a difficult time at work trying to hide my PD from co-workers and my wife is unable to find work as a permanent employee, so she's had to take contractor jobs--a lot less pay, lousy benefits, and more hostile work environments. It's day-to-day/moment-to-moment for each of us until we put together enough money to move out of CA, a difficult undertaking as inflation eats up our savings. You're absolutely right about dealing with today...the future is a great source of anxious worry.

Try CBD, no THC, then. There's no psycho tropics in that, but you might find anti-anxiety effects. Forgeting words is pretty typical of us as we age, moreso after Covid; and really is affected by stress. Which I think both you and your wife are feeling; for me it is pretty intermittent, but I've talked with two friends this past week and we were all searching for words. See if wife can apply to local county/city for a job; I did that during the 2007 downturn, took a basic clerical job and then got a promotion later. Thankful for the good insurance and retirement. You will get through this--

Abit late but worth a shot on this thread. I have been taking pharmaceuticals for 26 years also been clean from I.V for 3 years but about 3 months ago started a course I was forced to do to get back to work. I went and Everytime had a panic attack I tried everything to get though nothing worked.
That’s when I started taking 40mg of Valium before I went I did really well
But before I knew it I needed them for everything even going to town as everything gave me panic attacks.
Now I’m addicted and went up to upto 10 100mg a day. I’m now down to 30mg but if I run out it’s so bad
All I can think of is bad things my head spins like a top I even tried lyrica which helps abit but only just takes the edge off. I also feel better for a hour or so if I drink. But nothing holds me like the Valium I have Xanax but it just makes me more panicky and paranoid the next day so I’ve stuck and got down to 30mg a day sometimes I feel ok but as soon as I don’t have enough I can’t handle any interaction or anything.
I’m so unwell but can’t get help because my wifes ex partner abused her children so they were put in care she got pregnant with our child and they live with my relatives that are old. If I try to get help the Socail may take my child my children are very well and live with my ex there mother only a hour away. I never had any social involvement and they are just one dirty test and they could take my child off my relatives. We don’t have the child over night and make sure we have nothing if we have them for a few hours. I don’t see a way out and if I get help they may get the Socail back on me after being dragged though court. I am doing my own detox and it’s so hard. When I used before I would stay away from home in my previous relationship. So I’ve never exposed any of my kids to drugs they wouldn’t know if they saw them what they are. But the Socail defamed me and I got told to have my child back Inhave to have a job be on nothing prescribed or illicit.
I was actually on nothing but the I.T course made have attacks and know I’m in the same situation I was when I did a Benzo detox 15 years ago.
Do I come clean and say I see my child only with my relatives present
( my family may disown me it’s happened before I ended up sleeping rough for 3 years ) or try to do my own detox. The only thing is I have to go a long way to get the Valium it’s costed so much to obtain so now I’m in debt. I need help but if I get it I lose my family my child possibly and my wife who knows but not how bad it is. I can’t get help because of the above reasons. If I don’t have it I have to drink and use lyrica I only have them when I travel to get the Valium
So I only need to detox off the Valium.
Pls help

I'm finding it almost impossible to wean myself off of Benzodiazepines: Xanax or klonopin. It's gotten to where I'm too anxious to even sleep the night before even an insignificant social event. And I absolutely need to have at least a very small dosage on hand when I go to work or run errands for fear of having an anxiety or worse--panic attack. I've been on what is considered to be a small dosage for more than thirty years. Living in CA is expensive enough, but in order to get a prescription for .05 mg of alprazolam, I was only able to find one doctor (actually a NP) who lives out of my area after recently moving a six-hour drive from where she practices. I'm being charged $175/visit--phone or tele visit every two months. When I go to the pharmacy, I'm scrutinized as if I'm a drug addict. To add insult to injury, I live close to a police station and have been stopped twice now because someone in the neighborhood reported me as being a suspicious person--I have Parkinson's Disease and on bad days I shuffle instead of walking "normally." I'm in my seventies and on Medicare, but none of the doctors in my plan will give me a prescription nor refer me to a detox program. The same goes for the VA (they do not prescribe Benzos at all) , and I have a 50% disability rating from injuries sustained in Vietnam. I was recently evaluated for Parkinson's (either a result of exposure to Agent Orange or toxic drinking water when stationed at Camp LeJeune.) I don't know if this blurb of mine helps you at all, but there are likely many of us in the same or similar situations. I can only wish you get the help you need and deserve. I'm currently seeing a psychotherapist through the VA in order to work through the root causes of my behavioral/psychological reasons behind my anxiety. I'm working hard, but the changes I'm going through are quite painful. Lifestyle changes for anyone are never easy. Best of luck in your path to recovery.

Thank you so much.
Your reply was very appreciated.
So much respect for going to war.
While the cowards hide behind desks.I’m 42 and take Valium and osscasional Xanax when I take the Xanax instead I feel better for a few hours then the next day I feel panicked and dysphoric to the point of I can’t do this anymore. ( just a thought I wouldn’t do anything)

Also I started on 30mg of Valium a day now it can go up to 10 once even 15. So that 30mg to 100mg plus of Valium is now down to 40mg a day.

Because I was so mentally sick and sectioned I was prescribed 90mg a day in the early 2000s

Ever since then without them I have Ben off them probably half of the 20 years.

But the world is an evil and this year feels extra dystopian.
I feel without them I can’t handle any interaction even a light conversation is to much.
So I’m just like you in a way.

I was homeless 2 years.
I no responsibility I slept in a tent in the woods for 5 months.
6 months outside on the floor under the court and outside the police station when I got moved from my tent. I left a small town for thr big city. Because then I did 6 months in the night shelter I had zero expectations and my family didn’t visit me once. I was clean then as well as I had no expectations. Then I got a GF from an abusive relationship her ex is doing life for murder and stabbed and abused her. Her next BF abused her and sexually abused her daughter and bullied her son. So even though my kids have never had any Socail services I got put though a mother baby unit tricked in by saying it was to support my partner. Because they dug up my homelessness and addiction.
I was defamed because we had a beautiful son 10 days before that.
It was either go or they get adopted! Her ex never got charged even with pictures amd 3 interviews with the kids the police have not enough evidence.

I just fell like sheer panic as I can’t have them when I have him so I can’t even enjoy it as Socail set me up.

So if I look out of place once sober wise my son could be adopted. Because my mum dad leave him here after checking we are sober.

I got no hope left.

Punished for another man’s crimes.

Thank you so much amd god bless from 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

Iv'e been dealing from anxiety, and insomnia for many years. I think they both go hand in hand. I have stopped using xanax, only because I had no choice. My doctor won't help me, she told me to see a shrink I'm full of worry, stress, not sleeping. Lets help each other if we can, going to a shrink is not an option.
Jan

Take care of yourself. If I take care of myself first, 'it' spills over to my family. I had to quit blaming other people and look at my role in my problems. I am an alcoholic. I have 40 years in A.A. I got addicted to benzos in the 1990's instead of getting drunk. Just exchanged one addiction for another. In 1983, I was bankrupt, suicidal, and homeless with two children; one was 5 years old and the other 2 years old. My ex didn't want them. AA steps and the members helped me very much to get a place to live, a home and employment. But that was in the 1980's when the economy was getting better. That said, I suggest going to Narcotics Anonymous. Give it a try. What do you have you to lose?

I have been on klonopin 0.5 in the morning and 1mg at 4:00pm
I was recently hospitalized for an unrelated illness and the hospital lost the list of current meds I was on so they used a 3 year old list in their computer.
I was not on klonopin then so I didn’t get them. I was inpatient for almost 20 days without my klonopin. They wouldn’t give it to me because it wasn’t in my chart. So they cut me off “ cold turkey “. What a nightmare it was. I’ve been on it for 3 years.

You cannot stop taking klonopin cold turkey. It can be fatal at worse. I don’t know why the hospital’s doctor stopped it without calling my home. They would have faxed them a current list. I was no longer myself and I became a person I didn’t like. I was reduced to begging for relief that never came. The doctor was called and he prescribed atavan, not Clonazapan. Since they are both benzodiazepines it calmed me down a little. I was to take 1 mg every 24 hours! Not acceptable.
So they told the doctor that I was freaking out and he added another one. So now it’s 1 mg every 12 hours. Not good at all.

I kept freaking out, irritated and begging for anything to stop the very intense withdrawal symptoms and I never got it.
I spent 20 days in the hospital for internal bleeding as I had an aortic valve replacement in 2015 and my blood thinner was so high , this causes bleeding so they called it Coumadin poisoning. It took 20 days to eventually stabilize me.

During that time I never got a klonopin. I suffered dearly and I told them that I needed klonopin and they never gave it to me. It was an abrupt stoppage. This drug needs to be removed from the pharmacies.

It’s a dangerous drug. When I got home I received 1 mg of klonopin and it was like magic. Almost immediately I started feeling more like myself.

I am still on it because I am hooked and can’t even taper off.
If I’m one hour late taking it, I start getting antsy. It’s was only supposed to be for 14 days and here I am 3 years later still hooked on it. I can’t get off. So if you need to take it as per a prescription. Be very careful.

Can I ask why a psychiatrist is out of the question? Is it because of the stigma or it’s beyond your financial capacity? You don’t have to answer me because I can’t make you do
Anything . I can only offer you my experience.

My primary care doctor won’t prescribe mental health medication but he has referred me to a psychiatrist. I might be in a different situation than you but the stigma of going to him doesn’t bother me in the least. I also have Medicare/Medicaid that pays so I have no financial burden.

My PCP will not prescribe psych meds as he says that he’s not a trained psychiatrist. I also have a social care manager that takes me anywhere I want to go. Even having a small lunch at a burger joint.

Yet, I am not happy and . despite having the impossible -to- get -off -of klonopin (a benzo), seroquel, lamictal, and Wellbutrin.
All those meds do is keep my depression/Anxiety levels down, not gone.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m not motivated enough to do exercise. Eat right and sleep is my only comfort.

I have a really long story that I don’t wish to bore everyone with but mental illness has disabled me. According to social security, I’m disabled and can’t work.
They say that one shouldn’t count on medication and that you should go take a walk outside etc…I’m not motivated enough to self -help. I’m glad to read that you are off the Xanax as that is a benzo too. Good Luck