@hopeful33250

Not great. My husband is slowly declining. Things are getting more difficult. In spite of the VA doctors' assurances of help, they feel more obstructionist than helpful. As I stated, I asked for a very mild sedative for my husband due to times when he gets into a zone and insists on engaging in activities that may be harmful to him, or times he is agitated. Instead, they have referred him to a psychiatrist, because they can't or won't prescribe what I have asked for (just a very mild sedative). This may turn out to be o.k., however, it is taking a ridiculous amount of time for him to get in. In the mean time, I really can't get rid of everything that may be harmful - ladders, chainsaws, kitchen knives, etc...any number of items around the house that I may someday need to use. When you live in the country, and you occasionally need "stuff", you can't just get rid of everything that could cause a problem, that you may later need.

In addition to this, the neurologist was rather sure that a trip to the ER a couple of years ago was due to seizure, while I thought it was an extreme sleep apnea episode. The same doctor now thinks the most recent episode of the same symptoms (just over a month ago) was sleep apnea, while I thought it was a seizure. Each time, he had just been on medication, a possible side effect of which was seizure. Now, that doctor and the neurologist in the regular health system, are both saying the it is all due to sleep apnea, and that he MUST use his CPAP machine every night. His CPAP machine is cumbersome and uncomfortable. He has tried every apparatus available. He doesn't like to wear it. Even when he tries to use it, at the beginning of the night, he usually only wears it for a while. He gets up several times a night to go to the bathroom. For years, I woke up every time he got up in the night. I no longer wake up - often until morning. The doctors do not seem to understand that I am unable to monitor his actions all night long. On top of all of this, I have begun to find evidence, on some mornings, that he has been active during the night, and I have had no idea. I find lights on that I had turned off before bed, found a magazine basket from the living room in the bedroom in the morning, he is sometimes wearing a different T-shirt in the morning than when we went to bed. I try to tell myself to wake up when he stirs, but have been unsuccessful lately - I am sleeping like I slept as a child - no drugs or alcohol to blame. What is really ticking me off, is that the doctors don't seem to feel any sense of urgency about this, and seem to blame me for him not using his CPAP at night. They have informed me that it is very important for him to get restorative sleep at night. I have informed them that I am a 24/7/365 caretaker, and that it is also important for me to get restorative sleep at night. Grrrrr!

You know, I actually feel better for having gotten this off my chest. Thank you!

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