Hopeless Lethargy

@northwoodboy Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. A new environment like your apartment, coupled with medication changes and other sensitive factors, sure can make us feel fragile. Have you met any of your new neighbors? Now might be a great time to reach out to them, and introduce yourself. It is great to read you are being so aware of your situation, so that you can come back from feeling so poorly. I know it takes little baby steps to do so, and beng gentle on yourself. Have you tried writing out how you are feeling? You don't need to share it with anyone, just get it off your chest and out of your head. Do you think this might work for you? Sometimes we have to put up a brave front, and after a while, it seeps into us and we are that brave front.
Ginger

Hi Northwoodsboy,
I'm so sorry to hear of your long term depression. That must be hard to live with. Have you looked at the side effects of your medications? It's possible some of them could be adding to your depression without you being aware of it. If you find something like that in the side effects of the medications, don't stop them but consult with your doctor and see what he thinks about it. My husband has lung cancer and he was prescribed a medication that had breathing difficulties as one of the side effects. Something he didn't need with lung cancer! We brought it up to the doctor and he discontinued that medicine. Have you ever considered (with a doctor's help) just not taking anymore of the medications for depression? Could they possibly be making the situation worse?

Also, do you eat regular good healthy meals and on time? That makes such a difference and drinking a lot of water helps as well. Your body needs a lot of nutrition especially when it's dealing with medical problems. This seems to be more important when we get older. I'm 76 and my husband is 82. We eat on a regular basis just like clockwork. We also drink a lot of water and make a lot of things from scratch; no TV dinners and we don't eat out. We feel a lot better with our schedule this way.

I would think your new apartment would be like a fun adventure! Being alone in it is also a plus because it is all yours. You can decorate it anyway you want it to be. You can have a room strictly for your computer or exercise equipment or a library etc. You can have a great time canvassing stores or thrift stores for items you may want to add to your new apartment. Or, just do it online.

I'm sorry to hear about your thoughts of suicide. That's not the best way at all and besides it might physically hurt. Have you ever thought that it also may not work? You may end up paralyzed for life or something. The best thing to do when you feel those thoughts coming on is to just pray to God. Talk to him like he's your best friend and he is. Tell him how you feel and what you want your life to be like. God made you and he can heal you. You don't have to go to church to find God but it can be a nice place to go. Also start reading the Bible a little each day. My husband and I read the King James Bible every morning. It's amazing the details you find out about that time. Did you know that the Philistines put solid gold necklaces on their camels? It's in the Book of Judges. If you do start reading the Bible, you might want to know that the word "KINE" which is mentioned in the first few books means cows.

I wish you the best coping with everything. I'll remember you in my prayers.
PML

I am in my 7th decade of life and finding it harder and harder to navigate every day. I am struggling with long-term treatment resistant depression, horrendous anxiety, PTSD, hopelessness, loneliness and abject poverty which I never expected, prepared for or anticipated and I'm disappointed in myself for not yet having the courage to do what would solve everything - which is make my final exit. I wish you luck with psilocybin which I tried but didn't pursue due to lack of money but I know many who've been helped by it and hope you are one of them. Please keep us updated on this and if anyone here can relate to what I've posted I could really use your insights and ideas.

You might want to look at microdosing psilocybin which should be rather inexpensive. There are some good protocols for this on the web. Paul Austin's book "Microdosing Psychedelics" - available on Amazon - is also quite informative. Good luck to you - don't give up, please keep trying things until you find something that works!

Paulette, I am struggling with the depression issue as well. After 33 years of taking care of others loved ones, I find myself on the other side of the coin I need my childrens support as I am now dealing with health problems, and they are just not there. Retiring, pandemic with isolation and loneliness, diagnosed with epilepsy, financial difficulties, life can get hard, can’t it? I will not take meds for this because, well, I just can’t. However, I know from experience that serving others, doing for less fortunate, is a way to take your mind off your own issues and re-focus. No matter what your circumstances, there is ALWAYS someone else in need. Serving others allows us to live. It is in our DNA. It is a part of why we are here. We are human and need community. We need each other. I agree with the advice to start slow - meet a neighbor(s) and start the process. You may not realize it, but you can bless someone else so very much. You haven’t lived this long without learning some things! God bless you!

Hi, Northwoodsboy,

I'm sorry that things really stink for you now...Lots of good ideas in the other replies! I'll try not to repeat any.

I have a couple of "baby step" ideas, which I am trying to follow myself!

Try to get some exercise, but any movement is good. Walking to the bathroom can be a big achievement! Give yourself credit and kudos!

Try to get outside in the fresh air and sunlight. But rolling over in bed to get into the sunlight counts, too. Opening the curtains counts. Opening the window counts, even more! Actually getting outside is an Olympic level achievement! Give yourself the gold medal.

Try to laugh. I read the funny posts here in the Mayo clinic site almost every day. They come up in the "Daily Digest" under "Just to talk," or some wording like that.

Try to help someone else. It's easy to do with this site. Almost every day I read the funny posts here, then I scan the other posts to see if I might have a suggestion for someone else, which is how I found you! : )

You have so much life experience, and it sounds like you have had a lot of difficult situations lately. I bet your insights could be really helpful to some of the folks who post their problems here. And you can post anytime, day or night.

Sometimes I save the funny posts for a reward to myself after posting something (helpful, I hope) for someone else. Some of the funny posts are truly hilarious!

This is a little weird: smile. There's research that indicates that using the smile muscles in our faces can actually induce an improved mood. May not work for clinical depression, but it's worth a try- It's free! And you don't have to get out of bed to try it! When I was a teacher, I used to start my classes with everyone smiling, no matter how they felt. There were some pretty funny fake smiles, including mine! My students seemed to think it worked pretty well.

This is even weirder: flowers. I try to keep a flower, or a blooming plant, or just a plant, or a leaf, or anything pretty (seashell/rock/jewelry), or anything that has been alive recently near me. I just look at it. Sometimes I talk to it-- Do you remember the 1960s and '70s "talk to your plants" craze? My grandmother swore by it.

I hope that some of these ideas might help relieve your symptoms at least a little bit. Every little bit helps.

Please come back and keep us posted on how you are doing. : ) There are nice people here.

There are some very nice people here. Reading other’s posts has helped me immensely. I don’t feel as alone. I have battled with suicidal thoughts in my life also, and I believe it takes more courage to battle these thoughts than it does to give into them. Try to think that way instead of the way you had mentioned. I have pushed God to the side many years ago, but may try to find him again. Take care!

I too suffer from clinical depression. After reading these posts I felt that maybe there really is some hope. So, when the Amazon delivery guy dropped off my package at my front door, I yelled out the window, "Good morning!" He seemed to be delighted to hear that. And responded with an upbeat "good morning" as well. Then I followed by saying, "Thank you." I'm pretty sure this made his day - as it did mine. I think I'm going to enjoy this day! When we strive to make other people happy, we make ourselves happy. It'[s a beautiful world.

Dear Paulette, please don’t despair too much. I am 76 now and I have had dysthymia all my life undiagnosed and now I have Major Depression, recurrent. Not suicidal but often I feel like, what’s the point, you know.
Well, I think the point is, thank goodness they know about and give meds. Been on 60 mg Prozac for years. Doesn’t always help in that for some reason some of the JOY I had not long ago is going.
On the other hand, I DO often have GOOD or better days so I’m thinking just a pill doesn’t work but we (I) have to also work the program. There are few real success stories with depression, that is that completely goes away but, there are some for sure. So on my bad days, I try not to berate myself and boy, that is hard not to do…calling yourself lazy, etc.
Instead, I try really hard to REMEMBER that there ARE still good days.
If I look, almost every day SOMETHING special happens, no matter how minute.
I’ll keep hanging on….you too, okay? Peace and love to you.

OMG you have really helped me - esp. at the end of a 2-day deep downward dive.
Your sharing uour thoughts & experience
via this post gives me hope, at least for this evening.
Thank you, and sending more good vibes your way too.