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What IS the point? Adult kids don't seem to care.

Depression & Anxiety | Last Active: Apr 4 9:07pm | Replies (125)

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@lauralouisenelson

For sure, I understand that some parents will parent their adult children with cognitive, physical, emotional impairments all their lives. My mother was this parent to my brother until she died, now the sibs pitch in to "parent" him. So, extenuating mental health concerns aside, I was rather speaking to those who feel rejected or ignored by their fully functional adult children. It was to these parents, who claim their kids are ungrateful butts, despite all best efforts to connect with them. I was suggesting, if the parent has amends to make, make them, you may not even realize the resentment your adult kid harbors - until you ask. And if the parent has no amends to make, if their kid has sidelined them for no valid reason, it's time to move on. And I say this as someone who has life circumstances that have tortured me because I get stuck in neutral, pining for a life that is in the past. I've had to teach myself to move on/move forward for self preservation. I realize it's complicated, and "move on" doesn't mean stop loving unconditionally, it just means move forward and preserve your own mental health, which I see is damaged in a lot of these posts, because people are pining for what they don't have and may never have. If your adult children have moved on from you, and don't appreciate you, and you have done nothing to deserve this, it is not your job as a parent to moan and groan and pine and grieve and sit around waiting for them to come around. Time to find a new way to make happiness.

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Replies to "For sure, I understand that some parents will parent their adult children with cognitive, physical, emotional..."

You have valid recommendations to give, but please try to be a little softer and more kind. This lady is obviously hurting and doesn’t need to be hurt more with your harsh means of making your point.
Scatter kindness and compassion. We all need that.