Mentor Lori's comments are very valuable and definitely worth considering. My comment is for you to go to your appointment with a list of questions for your dr. As Lori mentioned, you need to find out the reason for the tests as that is #1. Knowledge is power. The more you know, the better equipped you will be to decide which route to take. Discuss the pros and cons. And, most importantly, do not go to the appointment alone. Bring a friend or loved one who can take notes. Aging is very scary. I, too, am over 70 and am facing some hard decisions. You are not alone. I feel for you and send you good energy. Best of luck to you.
Great question: "How old is old"? I just recently turned 70 and, while I'm doing okay, I'm on a ton of meds for depression, seizure disorder (under control), and a bunch of other stuff. Thank heaven for Medicare and my Medicare Advantage plan!!! The problem is, since I turned 70, I "feel" old, and have been somewhat depressed because of it. I know age is just a number, but mine is stuck in my head right now. However, my dad is turning 93!!! in April, and he is still living independently by himself in his beautiful villa in Florida. His life revolves around the country club and his girlfriend, believe it or not. So I don't know why I'm feeling depressed. They say (whoever "they" are) that 70 is the new 50 - so why do I feel so old and somewhat helpless? Anyone else affected by the "age number"?
Agree completely with the age thing ! I am turning 60 this year and I'm scared. I remember when I was young and when my mom and dad were 60 I thought wow, they are so old! I know now things have changed, and "they" say, 60's the new 50's but I think it is how you are actually FEELING. I know people in their 70's who act and feel and think as if they were 40! But they don't suffer from depression like I am many other's do. I think depression is a big thing, family history, etc. For many, age means nothing but for others, especially clinically depressed individuals, feel aging is just one more thing to be depressed about and it is true, sad feelings. I find that most med for depression don't work that well and come with many unwanted side effects. Having said that, I did try to wean myself off them a few months ago, and it reminded me why I was on them in the first place. They do help, somewhat. Still, I like you, feel the same about getting up there. Maybe it's just a mindset, genetics, atmosphere, COVID, etc. My Mom was almost 90 when she passed and your Dad will be 93! Wow! And he's happy and livin the life! Good for him! You are feeling depressed because you have depression! Just do the best you can, follow your medical routine and maybe try to look at the good things you have? A nice friend, relative, pet, neighbour..... If I just turn on the news, I feel grateful for what I have, albeit short lived, I have to keep reminding myself 🙂
I'm here, because I don't know what to do! I'm grieving the death of my mom, and this grief journey hasn't been kind to me! My mom was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2015. A lumpectomy was performed, and she underwent a course of radiation therapy. She was told the radiation would heighten the chances of the breast cancer not returning. However, it came back! This time, she opted for the mastectomy. All was well for awhile, then out of nowhere she fractured her rib. It was at that time, she was diagnosed with Angiosarcoma, caused by the radiation therapy she had recieved from the breast cancer. My mom was never informed of the risk associated with radiation therapy which was upsetting because she said if she was informed of the risk, she would never have opted to do the radiation therapy. To make a long story short, my mom then underwent 90 days of chemotherapy, with another round of radiation. Nevertheless, 90days after treatment my mom lost her battle with Angiosarcoma, and recently passed away. The cancer had spread like wildfire! I don't understand why radiation therapy is a treatment option, if its known to cause Angiosarcoma, a rare but highly aggressive form of cancer! To add insult to injury, radiation was also given to her after being diagnosed with Angiosarcoma. If radiation causes Angiosarcoma, why would it even be considered as a treatment option? My advice to anyone who is diagnosed with cancer, is to please do your research, get a second opinion, put your trust in God, not in the health care system, to know this..."ITS YOUR LIFE, YOUR BODY, YOUR CHOICE!" So choose what you feel is best for you regardless of the outcome! I just had to get this off my chest, Thanks for listening! Any words of encouragement is helpful! Thanks in advance!
I am so sorry for the loss of your Mom. What a long and painful journey for the both of you. I get so frustrated with the health care system and I always was the advocate for my Mom. She was a nurse, so she was pretty knowledgeable but as she aged, I had to take charge and speak up. She too had breast cancer - but in her 60's. They did a lumpectomy, radiation and then she took temoxifan - a cancer 'pill' for about a year. She recovered from the cancer but then in her late 70's after my father passed, she got dementia. This is what she died from, at 89, 5 years ago.
The pain from losing a parent, especially a mother, never goes away. It gets a bit easier, or rather you get "used" to it as the months and years go by, but the ache remains in the heart. I have pictures everywhere and think about her every hour. I know she would not want me suffering and thinking about her so much, but at the same time it's difficult.
I hope you can find solace in knowing that she is no longer suffering and in pain? It also helps to speak with others who have lost a mother. I know many of my friends lost their mothers much earlier than I lost mine, so I am grateful I had her until she was almost 90.
I find going for walks, especially around trees, birds, nature, helps my mind settle down. I have had pets, cats and dogs, which too have helped with depression and loss.
One minute at a time, sometimes, dawnblair, that's all we have to get through. Try not to look to far ahead...just think of all those cherished moments and smile.
Great question: "How old is old"? I just recently turned 70 and, while I'm doing okay, I'm on a ton of meds for depression, seizure disorder (under control), and a bunch of other stuff. Thank heaven for Medicare and my Medicare Advantage plan!!! The problem is, since I turned 70, I "feel" old, and have been somewhat depressed because of it. I know age is just a number, but mine is stuck in my head right now. However, my dad is turning 93!!! in April, and he is still living independently by himself in his beautiful villa in Florida. His life revolves around the country club and his girlfriend, believe it or not. So I don't know why I'm feeling depressed. They say (whoever "they" are) that 70 is the new 50 - so why do I feel so old and somewhat helpless? Anyone else affected by the "age number"?
I turned 70 in January and I hear "I'm 70" just about every hour of the day. I'm also on more meds than I like and I can live with that but I am sure not crazy about the hangy dangy skin, sun damage left over from my youth, the way that I look in the mirror is depressing but what it HAS done is spurred me into making the best of my choices no matter what anyone thinks since I am so aware of the shortened time left. I have a 51 year old daughter and so I know that 70 is different and not the new 50 - she lives in a different state, my other 2 children have died, my parents are gone now, for whatever reason my sister has sort of disconnected mostly which is very confusing to me (she is 20 mo younger, now 68 and is the type to never show any downside to anything - I have no idea what is going on with her - she pulled back after Mom died in 2018), I had 2 long marriages and now am into my 3rd which is pretty great (the last died after 20 years, the first recently died - we were married for 17 years and he is the father of my children). I moved to marry this man since I had nothing left to lose; my personal belongings literally went up in flames when my condo that I kept in my home state burned completely - I kept it so that I could check in on my mother frequently. I am not wanting more stuff. I want to be happy again which I am finding challenging. Being 70 and "hearing" about it constantly doesn't help at all.
I am so sorry for the loss of your Mom. What a long and painful journey for the both of you. I get so frustrated with the health care system and I always was the advocate for my Mom. She was a nurse, so she was pretty knowledgeable but as she aged, I had to take charge and speak up. She too had breast cancer - but in her 60's. They did a lumpectomy, radiation and then she took temoxifan - a cancer 'pill' for about a year. She recovered from the cancer but then in her late 70's after my father passed, she got dementia. This is what she died from, at 89, 5 years ago.
The pain from losing a parent, especially a mother, never goes away. It gets a bit easier, or rather you get "used" to it as the months and years go by, but the ache remains in the heart. I have pictures everywhere and think about her every hour. I know she would not want me suffering and thinking about her so much, but at the same time it's difficult.
I hope you can find solace in knowing that she is no longer suffering and in pain? It also helps to speak with others who have lost a mother. I know many of my friends lost their mothers much earlier than I lost mine, so I am grateful I had her until she was almost 90.
I find going for walks, especially around trees, birds, nature, helps my mind settle down. I have had pets, cats and dogs, which too have helped with depression and loss.
One minute at a time, sometimes, dawnblair, that's all we have to get through. Try not to look to far ahead...just think of all those cherished moments and smile.
Thanks Marcie! It helps to know others can relate to the pain I am experiencing from the death of my mom. Sorry for your loss as well. I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone! Not a day has gone by that I don't think of her. Life is so different without my mom, it's about to be a year soon, time has gone by so fast! I just hate the fact that the health care system is all about money, not pro life! Take care, and again Thanks for sharing your story with me!
I turned 70 in January and I hear "I'm 70" just about every hour of the day. I'm also on more meds than I like and I can live with that but I am sure not crazy about the hangy dangy skin, sun damage left over from my youth, the way that I look in the mirror is depressing but what it HAS done is spurred me into making the best of my choices no matter what anyone thinks since I am so aware of the shortened time left. I have a 51 year old daughter and so I know that 70 is different and not the new 50 - she lives in a different state, my other 2 children have died, my parents are gone now, for whatever reason my sister has sort of disconnected mostly which is very confusing to me (she is 20 mo younger, now 68 and is the type to never show any downside to anything - I have no idea what is going on with her - she pulled back after Mom died in 2018), I had 2 long marriages and now am into my 3rd which is pretty great (the last died after 20 years, the first recently died - we were married for 17 years and he is the father of my children). I moved to marry this man since I had nothing left to lose; my personal belongings literally went up in flames when my condo that I kept in my home state burned completely - I kept it so that I could check in on my mother frequently. I am not wanting more stuff. I want to be happy again which I am finding challenging. Being 70 and "hearing" about it constantly doesn't help at all.
I just want to encourage you. People don't understand how much of a blessing it is to live to be your age, now days, they are dying very young! So to live to see age 70 is truly a blessing! I pray I live to see 70. Don't let what others say about your age get to you, every wrinkle you see when you look in the mirror is a blessing! Consider it a beautiful blessing, that a lot of people don't live long enough to experience! You are beautiful and you are blessed! Take care!
Thanks Marcie! It helps to know others can relate to the pain I am experiencing from the death of my mom. Sorry for your loss as well. I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone! Not a day has gone by that I don't think of her. Life is so different without my mom, it's about to be a year soon, time has gone by so fast! I just hate the fact that the health care system is all about money, not pro life! Take care, and again Thanks for sharing your story with me!
You are so right that life is so different without our Mom's. When my Dad passed, about 10 years before my Mom, I was devastated too, but with my Mom it was just a different kind of loss. She was my everything for so long and although I knew she would be gone one day, it is so hard as it feels like she was just here. I sometimes have dreams that seem so real and vivid, then I wake up and think, ok geez, it was a dream - she really is gone. Hang in there. I guess all we have are dreams and memories 🙂
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Mentor Lori's comments are very valuable and definitely worth considering. My comment is for you to go to your appointment with a list of questions for your dr. As Lori mentioned, you need to find out the reason for the tests as that is #1. Knowledge is power. The more you know, the better equipped you will be to decide which route to take. Discuss the pros and cons. And, most importantly, do not go to the appointment alone. Bring a friend or loved one who can take notes. Aging is very scary. I, too, am over 70 and am facing some hard decisions. You are not alone. I feel for you and send you good energy. Best of luck to you.
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3 ReactionsAgree completely with the age thing ! I am turning 60 this year and I'm scared. I remember when I was young and when my mom and dad were 60 I thought wow, they are so old! I know now things have changed, and "they" say, 60's the new 50's but I think it is how you are actually FEELING. I know people in their 70's who act and feel and think as if they were 40! But they don't suffer from depression like I am many other's do. I think depression is a big thing, family history, etc. For many, age means nothing but for others, especially clinically depressed individuals, feel aging is just one more thing to be depressed about and it is true, sad feelings. I find that most med for depression don't work that well and come with many unwanted side effects. Having said that, I did try to wean myself off them a few months ago, and it reminded me why I was on them in the first place. They do help, somewhat. Still, I like you, feel the same about getting up there. Maybe it's just a mindset, genetics, atmosphere, COVID, etc. My Mom was almost 90 when she passed and your Dad will be 93! Wow! And he's happy and livin the life! Good for him! You are feeling depressed because you have depression! Just do the best you can, follow your medical routine and maybe try to look at the good things you have? A nice friend, relative, pet, neighbour..... If I just turn on the news, I feel grateful for what I have, albeit short lived, I have to keep reminding myself 🙂
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3 ReactionsDear Dawnblair33,
I am so sorry for the loss of your Mom. What a long and painful journey for the both of you. I get so frustrated with the health care system and I always was the advocate for my Mom. She was a nurse, so she was pretty knowledgeable but as she aged, I had to take charge and speak up. She too had breast cancer - but in her 60's. They did a lumpectomy, radiation and then she took temoxifan - a cancer 'pill' for about a year. She recovered from the cancer but then in her late 70's after my father passed, she got dementia. This is what she died from, at 89, 5 years ago.
The pain from losing a parent, especially a mother, never goes away. It gets a bit easier, or rather you get "used" to it as the months and years go by, but the ache remains in the heart. I have pictures everywhere and think about her every hour. I know she would not want me suffering and thinking about her so much, but at the same time it's difficult.
I hope you can find solace in knowing that she is no longer suffering and in pain? It also helps to speak with others who have lost a mother. I know many of my friends lost their mothers much earlier than I lost mine, so I am grateful I had her until she was almost 90.
I find going for walks, especially around trees, birds, nature, helps my mind settle down. I have had pets, cats and dogs, which too have helped with depression and loss.
One minute at a time, sometimes, dawnblair, that's all we have to get through. Try not to look to far ahead...just think of all those cherished moments and smile.
Wishing you better days and moments.
Marcie
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5 ReactionsI turned 70 in January and I hear "I'm 70" just about every hour of the day. I'm also on more meds than I like and I can live with that but I am sure not crazy about the hangy dangy skin, sun damage left over from my youth, the way that I look in the mirror is depressing but what it HAS done is spurred me into making the best of my choices no matter what anyone thinks since I am so aware of the shortened time left. I have a 51 year old daughter and so I know that 70 is different and not the new 50 - she lives in a different state, my other 2 children have died, my parents are gone now, for whatever reason my sister has sort of disconnected mostly which is very confusing to me (she is 20 mo younger, now 68 and is the type to never show any downside to anything - I have no idea what is going on with her - she pulled back after Mom died in 2018), I had 2 long marriages and now am into my 3rd which is pretty great (the last died after 20 years, the first recently died - we were married for 17 years and he is the father of my children). I moved to marry this man since I had nothing left to lose; my personal belongings literally went up in flames when my condo that I kept in my home state burned completely - I kept it so that I could check in on my mother frequently. I am not wanting more stuff. I want to be happy again which I am finding challenging. Being 70 and "hearing" about it constantly doesn't help at all.
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4 ReactionsThanks Marcie! It helps to know others can relate to the pain I am experiencing from the death of my mom. Sorry for your loss as well. I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone! Not a day has gone by that I don't think of her. Life is so different without my mom, it's about to be a year soon, time has gone by so fast! I just hate the fact that the health care system is all about money, not pro life! Take care, and again Thanks for sharing your story with me!
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1 ReactionI just want to encourage you. People don't understand how much of a blessing it is to live to be your age, now days, they are dying very young! So to live to see age 70 is truly a blessing! I pray I live to see 70. Don't let what others say about your age get to you, every wrinkle you see when you look in the mirror is a blessing! Consider it a beautiful blessing, that a lot of people don't live long enough to experience! You are beautiful and you are blessed! Take care!
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1 ReactionThank you too, Dawnblair33.
You are so right that life is so different without our Mom's. When my Dad passed, about 10 years before my Mom, I was devastated too, but with my Mom it was just a different kind of loss. She was my everything for so long and although I knew she would be gone one day, it is so hard as it feels like she was just here. I sometimes have dreams that seem so real and vivid, then I wake up and think, ok geez, it was a dream - she really is gone. Hang in there. I guess all we have are dreams and memories 🙂
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