What's a good answer to How are you? when you're in bad pain?

Posted by tyyne21wigwam @tyyne21wigwam, Mar 7, 2023

Should you answer fine if you really aren't

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You should let people know that you are in pain because they may be able to help.

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I now say "about the same". This is torture.

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I say multiple things: I am fine, I am fighting to good fight, I am okay, etc. But I always follow up with “But, how are you doing?” It makes me feel better to turn the focus and move on. I am not perfect at doing this especially on bad days or with people who can see my pain. But I am trying and I do think it is a good solution for me.

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The truth, being a chronic pain patient myself, when I asked someone how their doing, I mean it on all levels because I really want to know. Our lives is not flowers and sunshine all the time so I'm willing to hear the good and the bad, so truth works best for me.

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@jtstark

The truth, being a chronic pain patient myself, when I asked someone how their doing, I mean it on all levels because I really want to know. Our lives is not flowers and sunshine all the time so I'm willing to hear the good and the bad, so truth works best for me.

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I usually smile and say that all is good, and ask how they are doing as well. If it is my husband, he just looks at me and knows when I'm having a bad day. My children can usually tell if I'm struggling as well. But for the most part I put on a happy face in public.
Best of luck to all of you!
Kat

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It depends on who is asking. If it is someone in my life who knows me and my situation, I can answer honestly. If it is a passing acquaintance, I give a generic answer. For many people, "How are you doing?" is a routine greeting, and not always a true question. There is no one-size-fits-all respponse.
Ginger

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I really liked all answers about how are you. Thanks for your input.

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@rennie

I say multiple things: I am fine, I am fighting to good fight, I am okay, etc. But I always follow up with “But, how are you doing?” It makes me feel better to turn the focus and move on. I am not perfect at doing this especially on bad days or with people who can see my pain. But I am trying and I do think it is a good solution for me.

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No one wants to hear the truth, so « Greta! Thanks!” is always the answer

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If you want the scoop right from Mayo Clinic Pain Rehabilitation Center - Dr. Sletten teaches it's okay to say you are having difficult day. No explanation needed. It's good to have one person that you can talk to honestly but no one else needs to know all the details of what you're going through. He teaches about "pain behaviors" which is anything you do say or think that reminds you of pain, and explains that talking about symptoms accesses your pain pathways and can lead to more pain.

I like to reverse the question by answering I'm fine, or doing well, then ask how are you how , how are the children , how is your new job?

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Wishing everyone a happy day 😊

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