If it’s a periodic table, what is it the rest of the time?

Because Anne and Mary like the periodic table of elements...

Maybe it's because Lori's puns took were the OXYGEN for the math jokes.
Let's try to IRON out some new ideas.
Keep it on the up and up, so we won't need to call a COPPER.
These may not be original, but they're not CARBON copies.

It's ELEMENTARY, but here it goes:

Hydrogen gas is Hair.
Copper charges are CUrates.
Mercury water sources are HG Wells,
Gold wind is AUgust.
Potassium portions are K rations.
Tin source is SNore.
Carbon cooker is Coven.
Silver debris is AGlitter.
Neon portal is NEgate.
Helium drinks are HEbrews.
Aluminum fishing gear are ALlures.