Just as an update...

I broke up with him shortly after writing this. It was forced over the phone as when I called him to ask if we could meet up later that evening and he knew it was coming, which says to me, he knew he'd done wrong. He then told me that if I was to break up that the meeting would take place, he'd rather not, and he'd rather I just do it right here.

So I did it. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but the next day (yesterday) I remembered he had some of my headphones and a few other valuable possessions and I texted him to say I would be back that night while he was away to get my things and drop his possessions off. He told me he threw them away, and to stay away from his house.

I knew he hadn't. So I said I'd be there within 10 minutes and when I got there, he'd taken off with my things in tow and said I wouldn't get them back until I promised to talk about this because it wasn't fair that he wanted "his girlfriend back" and he couldn't have me. So it seemed logical to him that I couldn't have my possessions back.

So I promised to talk and it ended just the way I knew it would - in tears. He cried, he cried, he begged, he pleaded, he promised never to do this again. But I stayed cold. I got my things back half an hour later and left. As I left I heard him slamming and throwing things around in his room. Destructive behavior. He continued texting me, begging that if he cleaned up and grew up then would I give him another chance. I said I didn't know. I didn't promise him anything.

The worst part about that whole thing yesterday was, even though he's done this to himself, I still hated seeing him hurt so badly. I felt like I knew I could make the pain go away, and to know that I caused it made it even worse. But I knew I could make the hurt go away if I was willing to suspend everything I know to be right. That's what made me the most heartbroken - I had caused him pain, and I couldn't fix it.

Thank you for your support the past couple days.

Good girl, you did the right thing. You are not responsible for his happiness --he is.I know you think you could help him but you can't----only he can help himself, he will drag you down with his illness,believe me I have tried this myself and ended up worse then he was.He needs AA an rehap.and at least a yr. of sobriety before you see him again. If he is serious and cleans himself up still remember this is a life long struggle for him and addicts think different then every one else. How old are you? Are you ready to make a life time commitment to him? You are a smart girl and did a difficult thing--you are very strong to have done this