Pancreatic cancer stage 4: Mom moved to palliative care

It seems like the emotional roller coaster is a rough ride. When I read your sister's story, I know this could very well be me at some point. Thank you for continuing to share your story and the emotions you have been experience. I am learning a lot from it.

Talking about the scary stuff I believe is helpful. I am learning so much from these discussions. I don't think the doctors want to scare people with these stories, but to me as a patient, I find these stories very helpful. Thank you for sharing your story

It seems that she is the biggest factor . No one thinks she should be doing anything at age 85? My family ancestors typically lived until late in their 90s. She is healthy except for this mass . I just feel like I’m not doing anything . Just waiting . I don’t see many posts here about people her age and what they are doing. Should I be taking her somewhere else for another opinion? This is so stressful .

2nd opinion could give some peace of mind. I found going to a pancreatic center of excellence was very helpful, you can have confidence in the information that you get. From my perspective, I first had chemo for breast cancer in 2001. At that time I was able to work and take care of myself and my family. This time I am 69, I feel like chemo is a lot tougher on my body. I am able to do less, although I do have my good days. It was very stressful initially when I was diagnosed in 2001 when my doctors did not agree on my treatment and I sought a second opinion and decided on a course of treatment. I think the uncertainty about what the right thing to do was very stressful. Hope you can connect with someone who can give insights into how persons in their 80s handle chemo and can get a highly expert 2nd opinion

We did go fur second opinion and he said chemo then Radiation. But would probably make her sick . We did the radiation .I’m just so confused.

There is no “cure” and her age seems to be a huge factor . Would be interested to know if anyone else who was in their 80s had this diagnosis
And what they did ?

I’m 82 and was originally diagnosed with Stage 1B borderline resectable. I had five chemo treatments with the first two making me so sick I was hospitalized. The oncologist changed my chemo to to oxcipalantin, iretocin and fulfirinix and although I felt bad was able to tolerate. Then I had SBRT radiation, five treatments two a week to create a margin between the tumor and a blood vessel that the tumor was leaning on. Then I went for surgery to get the Whipple and hopefully get a few years to live. The surgeon got in and found that I had carcinomatosis and that tiny tumors were all over my peritonium! None had shown up on PET scan nor CT scans. He took six inches of my intestine and created a bypass around my pancreas so that I would be able to digest food in the future. He did not do the Whipple and said I had six to eight months. I feel good and I’m in God’s hands now. He did the surgery robotically and I had quick healing. I have chosen not to have chemo since it would only add four months to my life and those would be miserable. I’m praying that God will perform a miracle, but for now I’m enjoying feeling good and living a normal life for the time that God gives me.

God bless you and stop the pain you might be having. My friend is 65 and has a pancreatic cancer which has also spread to her liver. She is not doing chemo and is going through very difficult days. Cannot eat because pain is terrible. I live abroad and cannot be with her. Wish I could be next to her holding her hand.

Thank you for you response. I’m thinking that palliative care is probably best for my mom . I don’t think she could withstand all of that . That being said I think I’m ok with her decision . I wish you the best .

@proparalegal how are you and your mom doing?