1. < Lung Cancer

Ashamed: I think about (and plan for) dying. Do you?

Posted by olgamarie @olgamarie, Feb 7, 2021

Hi, did anyone, after there cancer and COPD diagnosis start to think about dying? After almost four years, I still do, all the time. Planning my funeral, how to leave my children, how it will be to be in a coffin. Bizarre, I know.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Lung Cancer Support Group.

geraldmosier | @geraldmosier | Feb 3, 2023

I was told several times my hour glass was turned, the last PC I saw read my sheet and ask how are you still alive. I'm not ready yet got things to do and people to make mad so I'll go when I'm good and ready. We all die but few really live get to living it's more fun.

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1 reply
cheriums | @cheriums | Feb 3, 2023

I think everyone will have her / his own comforts and strengths. And I think everyone should feel comfortable sharing theirs. How can there be anything "wrong" in sharing what helps you?

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cheriums | @cheriums | Feb 3, 2023
In reply to @kid2thdr "Amen. As a health care provider and man of very strong faith, I don’t know how..." + (show)
@kid2thdr

Amen. As a health care provider and man of very strong faith, I don’t know how people handle the “dying proposition” without Jesus. I have spent 24 years in healthcare and sharing the gospel all around the word. He will be with us every step of the until we open our eyes after our last blink and see his glorious face.

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Might be HER face.

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thisismarilynb | @thisismarilynb | Feb 5, 2023
In reply to @geraldmosier "I was told several times my hour glass was turned, the last PC I saw read..." + (show)
@geraldmosier

I was told several times my hour glass was turned, the last PC I saw read my sheet and ask how are you still alive. I'm not ready yet got things to do and people to make mad so I'll go when I'm good and ready. We all die but few really live get to living it's more fun.

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You made me laugh. For whatever reason this week was not good. My mouse was not working properly, my furnace was not working properly and I am still in deep grief over my husband's death. I haven't had anyone tell me I should be dead, but I am 88 years old and can't help wondering how long I can live by myself. So thanks for the laugh and good feeling. It came at a time I really needed it.

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geraldmosier | @geraldmosier | Feb 5, 2023
In reply to @thisismarilynb "You made me laugh. For whatever reason this week was not good. My mouse was not..." + (show)
@thisismarilynb

You made me laugh. For whatever reason this week was not good. My mouse was not working properly, my furnace was not working properly and I am still in deep grief over my husband's death. I haven't had anyone tell me I should be dead, but I am 88 years old and can't help wondering how long I can live by myself. So thanks for the laugh and good feeling. It came at a time I really needed it.

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It out a smile on my face reading g your response.Im 64 going on 20 years old. If you look at it right your never really alone, me I live with 5 people. They all live in my head and we are a group of fun seeking crazies. Age is a number old is a state of mind. Take as many memories with you as you can that is Tru wealth.

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fef | @fef | Feb 7, 2023

As my COPD worsens I do think about passing and in fact I have picked my funnel polar and started a fund to pay my funnel expenses. I also picked out my coffin.
Nothing like being prepared. We all die sometime! Lol

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Deb | @dkmielke54 | Feb 10, 2023
In reply to @fef "As my COPD worsens I do think about passing and in fact I have picked my..." + (show)
@fef

As my COPD worsens I do think about passing and in fact I have picked my funnel polar and started a fund to pay my funnel expenses. I also picked out my coffin.
Nothing like being prepared. We all die sometime! Lol

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I don't believe there is any reason for you to be ashamed at all. I personally have my arrangements for some time because it is my last farewell. (and ii am not a control freak) And you are correct, it is enivatable. So, give yourself a break and don't allow yourself to dwell on it. Enjoy each new day.

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Mentor
Miriam, Volunteer Mentor | @mir123 | Feb 12, 2023
In reply to @erikas "@olgamarie Thinking about death is never shameful and it is actually healthy. I understand our culture..." + (show)
@erikas

@olgamarie Thinking about death is never shameful and it is actually healthy. I understand our culture places a taboo on death but it's an inevitable part of life.

Do your thoughts about death lead you to live a more fulfilling life and live in the hear and now, or are they a pattern of rumination that impedes connection and living a meaningful life?

Regardless of where you are in this broad spectrum, you may wish to look into the readings by Viktor Frankl. He is the father of Existential Therapy.

Viktor Frankl actually spent time in a concentration camp and lost most of his family members there during WWII. From this horrendous experience he learned that the people that accepted their unspeakable position, and the almost certainty of their death, were the individuals that were resilient and more likely to survive. After his escape Viktor Frankl went on to be one of the most inspiring people in psychology and modern philosophy.

If this is something that resonates with you, there are therapists that specialize in existential therapy. Psychology Today does have a nice search function that locates local therapists with any particular specialty. Online options are plentiful as well.

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I love Victor Frankl. I often imagine getting a bumpersticker WHAT WOULD VIKTOR FRANKL DO?
His thinking got me through the pandemic, and now cancer. Seeing life as it is is a tremendous liberation. Thank you!

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Matthew K | @flusshund | Feb 16, 2023

Plan for the worst, hope for the best, and enjoy every minute you can along the way. I have metastatic lung cancer that required brain surgery two years ago. I'm working on putting together financial plans to ensure, as much as I can, that my wife will be OK after I've gone. And my will is in order along with my medical directives. That's the extent of my "plan for the worst." As to the "hope for the best", I don't care what the statistics say, I'll beat 'em. Just watch. I believe in the Hans Solo approach, "Never tell me the odds." 🙂 Day-to-day, I'm still working as an engineer to support NASA, training and playing with our dog, doing yard work, judging and eating BBQ, and studying German just to practice something I'm terrible at, lol.

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geraldmosier | @geraldmosier | Feb 17, 2023
In reply to @thisismarilynb "You made me laugh. For whatever reason this week was not good. My mouse was not..." + (show)
@thisismarilynb

You made me laugh. For whatever reason this week was not good. My mouse was not working properly, my furnace was not working properly and I am still in deep grief over my husband's death. I haven't had anyone tell me I should be dead, but I am 88 years old and can't help wondering how long I can live by myself. So thanks for the laugh and good feeling. It came at a time I really needed it.

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I'm very happy to bring a tad bit of joy to you. I hear people all the time talk about the dealing with adversities In life and I can't advise but only give my insite and mine is most time warped..I also reflect on why but so doing I loose site of the life now.just remember your husband would have wanted you to have a full life, can't if you dwell on the past.this hopes you to live long and full young lady.

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