I have exactly the same problem, as well as doing all kinds of configurations with the pillows and also using my hands to stop my ears touching the pillow. But I have found some relief from the pain in the last two nights for the first time. I have thought maybe its something to do with the circulation to the extremities of the ear. My earlobes are so painful and the thought of dying flesh screaming is what comes for mind. For the first time I have raised my head higher during sleep with two pillows, fairly soft feathed. Without manipulation of the pillows of using my hands and with my ears touching the pillow I can say I haven't felt any pain. How do I account for this? I'm not an expert, I only have my experience to go by but its logical to me that if you suffer from this condition you must find the position for your neck which gives your arteries the best flow to the ears without blocking them. You can only try it, yourself and lets face it it's more painful not to try. I find it unbelievable that I can rest my ears on a pillow without excruciating pain after all these years, but I can and this is the only explanation i can find AZ i already take calcium and vitamins everyday of my life and it isn't the answer cor me.