I have had this same problem for many years. It is not relapsing polychondritis. It is not an autoimmune inner ear disease. The pain is triggered when I lie down on my side, with my ear touching a very soft pillow. Pillow softness does not prevent the outer ear cartilage pain. I know many people who can lie with their head against a pillow and sleep without pain. I used to be one of them. Many of us 'oddballs', exist and suffer from this"mystery diagnosis". I keep waiting for our superhero to appear and remove this pain forever.