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My life is getting to be useless
Chronic Pain | Last Active: Feb 2, 2023 | Replies (37)Comment receiving replies
My support system is my husband and he has no clue how to do it. He always says stuff like you can do it! Or no one else is going to do it for you! He does help though. He does so much for work, at home. I feel like checking g myself into a pain hospital like palliative care. Omg it’s exhausting. Oh and on top of everything I’m losing my mind! I forget or can’t remember much mostly short term. But also have huge chinch’s of my life missing. I use to remember everything. My brain has white matter I’m guessing that’s the culprit for that. But the headaches are horrible not as bad as when I had Pheo for 15 years. But bad. Omg just a huge list I left out of my first story. Thank you for asking and caring. Abby
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Good morning, Abby - you're very welcome. It's easy to care when you can relate. I'm glad to hear your husband is there for you, even if he doesn't get it sometimes. It sounds like he tries and cares about you. That's huge.
Understandably, your main gripe is about meds, mainly controlled substance, and no longer receiving them. Is that right? It sounds like you had acute problems, but now they have turned chronic and you're having a hell of a time knowing how to live, find joy and focus on what you can do versus what you can not. Management with meds is only part of the equation. I learned the hard way, like you, as I was so consumed with my body "failing" at a younger age. I had a lot of struggle remembering that I was still a human with interests, hopes and desire to live and find joy. I had no idea how to live with what I had.
When you get deconditioned because of chronic pain you can either stay in a spin out cycle or you can chip away at making small everyday changes and build on taking your life back. That means both mind and body. Granted, that may look different because of health past circumstances, and not be what you planned on, but it does NOT have to define you.
If I sound preachy, its because I've been through the crap of it all and I'm passionate about helping people. You are not alone in having a rough go at life and challenges to face. What can I do to help you make a first step in a new positive direction? For me it took knowing that I had life to live and damn it all, I was not going to let my chronic pain define me. It took strategizing - removing control from the doctors to make me feel better and taking on control for myself.
Here is a video that I hope will give you information on the cycle of pain. It's pretty important to learn about what your mind and body are going through if you want to try and help them.
Mayo Clinic Pain Rehabilitation Center:
Dr. Sletten of Mayo Clinic's Pain Rehab Center in FL, does a fantastic job of breaking down the cycle of chronic pain, and offering strategies for folks and their families to move forward in a hopeful, positive direction. I hope you find value in watching the video.
Oh, and about losing your mind....stress, anxiety, depression, pain, fear, loss, grieving, anger -it all adds up and can overcome any sense of normalcy including memory. Please give yourself grace, and self-talk your way through knowing life can get better. I'm really rooting for you and look forward to hearing back. Do you mind letting me know your thoughts on the video? What might be your next step?