It is absolutely an overwhelming diagnosis to receive. I spent many weeks worrying and crying, wondering if my children would find me after throwing a clot somewhere. I taught my then 7 year old how to dial 911 if it ever happened. My hematologist is amazing, and after many visits crying in the office with him, he reminded me that stressing over it will do absolutely nothing for me in the present, and that really the only long term studies on life expectancy after this diagnosis are done on older people anyways, as this is most commonly a diagnosis of older aged individuals. There's really no way of knowing what other conditions they could have had that could have potentially led to a faster death than younger individuals. He explained that studies have not really been done on younger people diagnosed with this, and there is the potential to live a full life if properly managed. As an ER nurse, I see very often how no matter how healthy you are, your life can be taken in a split second by tragic events. I was initially very stuck on the 20 year life expectancy as well, but I try not to dwell on what may happen in a couple of decades and try to live for today. You never know when your time to go is, and I'm not willing to let this take me down any faster. Processing the diagnosis absolutely got better with time for me, and I try not to stress over what I cannot control. Hugs to you ❤️