Sandra,
I’m sorry about your situation. I am 6 years out from my treatments.
As I was going through my treatments I was very sick, weak, cold, sad, couldn’t swallow food and barely swallowed water, all of my nutrition was through a feeding tube and after 31 years of marriage I felt helpless and ashamed that I could no longer be the husband that I had been.
It saddened me greatly to see my wife so sad and worried. I felt so helpless. Fortunately my parents came to stay with us to help with my care so that my wife could continue working and to be company for my wife.
I had moved my feeding station to our bonus room and was sleeping in a chair all day. At night I was sleeping in a spare bedroom with my K9 partner so that my wife could sleep. I was up constantly throughout the night to pee so I didn’t want to keep her from sleeping. It was my wife’s idea to bring my K9 into the house to sleep with me. One night I was so sick my dog actually got my wife to help me!
Anyway, with all this said; one day my wife just said “OK, this has gone long enough, you’re coming back into the living room with all of us!” So I did, though I remained sleeping with my dog. I actually did start feeling a bit better about myself.
One day after asking God if I was going through this treatment for nothing, my wife looked me in the eyes and said “you can’t die on me, I need you to grow old with me!” That was the turning point for me to be social again!
I know this was lengthy but I hope it helps.