@bkruppa I mentioned this already. The single biggest thing that helped my pain and tension (I still have some sitting pain) was finding a therapist who does what is called "injury massage". He uses intense ultrasound while stretching you. He went up and down my legs, thighs and lower back. It took several 1 hour sessions and it's an expensive out of pocket deal. He thinks he's really "remodeling" the tissue. He also says if the pain varies and changes with time, it's not structural (i.e. not ligaments/bones, etc.). For me it's nerve compression from my myofascia/muscles (soft tissue) due to overuse/martial arts breakfalls ("scar tissue"), etc. He got rid of all the muscle knots in the lower legs. Regular massage won't change that - although as @jenniferhunter said myofascial release helped me (yes I had a John Barnes trained guy) but I had trigger points across whole regions - so the ultrasound really helped the most the quickest.

Some chiropractors have a high frequency vibrator called an RRT (rapid release). These might work well if the tension is close to the surface. Many have lasers and some have electrical stimulation, too (and you can do some TENS/EMS, too, yourself as you can buy those on Amazon). I am concerned chiropractors like to do their "adjustments". I don't particularly need or want the adjustment - especially since two discs are desiccated and bulging. I just like their other tools. Chiropractors often have the stuff.
Last, try an inversion table (talk to your Dr. about that - if the spine is too deteriorated or if high blood pressure it's not good). You don't spend a lot of time doing it - just a little - perhaps twice per day. That can take the pressure off the spinal nerve. I'm pretty sure that is what is causing my pain and tension (when I had it) - a pinched spinal nerve due to lower lumbar DDD. A pinched nerve can affect everything below it. pain, Sciatic pain, sitting pain, excessive sweating, affects the bowels (IBS like symptoms), etc. (they mention that in the headache in the pelvis book, too). However, more aggressive stretching and other exercises, too, that I detailed before are doing the trick for me. Keep trying different types of massage. You may not fully cure this but you might make it better. Stretches, vigorous walking, if tolerated, any other good exercises that are tolerated (I like TRX suspension training core exercises and lower body - TRX is the best for core strengthing I have found (no back aches since Christmas when I started TRX)) and extremely deep inspirations (lumbar nerve plexus runs through there and can not only cause pain but tension in the diaphragm) , try anti-inflammatory supplements (resveratrol + quercetin + rutin + turmeric in modest doses). It should help.

One more good book to read is "life after pain" by Dr. Jonathan Kuttner. He mentions chronic pain as well as meditation / mindful techniques. Also, maybe it won't help your wife - but try the deep breathing - really deep inspirations when you need it. Almost to the point of hyperventilating. That really helped me - but I had chains of trigger points and tension up and down my body and it wreaked havok. Often, when we are in pain, we tense up our muscles and don't breathe right. I'm trying to avoid drugs and injections for as long as possible. If massage works, try and find therapists / chiropractors with different tools and try them out. Some are reasonably priced and / or might be covered by insurance.