@feruj Serious illness already throws a person out of their comfort zone, so I say stay in yours as a private, practical person. Perhaps your husband needs permission to share with another person to ease his burden? At first I was very private. I was also confused about how I could be so sick so suddenly, so I wanted a lot of privacy. I felt very exposed, similar to how I felt when my husband died suddenly when our daughter was little. I didn’t want to have all eyes on me again. I am also very private. I also come from a family of stiff upper lip WASPs. Just before I met the liver team I began sharing more freely because I had a plan in formation. It was helpful to share more and by now I am totally open about it but I do guard my emotions. For me it helped to create an “inner circle” after a certain point in time. My old mom, my partner of a few years, siblings, my 20 year old daughter, a couple of good friends. In retrospect I think being a little more open helped those caring for me (I cannot emphasize how sick I was at this point, I even had to moved into my mom’s place as it was not safe to be alone for long stretches) as I could see that they needed to share their burden. Everyone is different.

I wrote a lot to relieve the chaos is my brain. Often I just made notes in my iPhone Notes app while I was at the lab, Dr, hospitalized or home. I needed the release. You said writing your comments felt good- there is something magical about writing.

I find this forum to be a safe space and I read comments more than I write.

I also used walking as much as I could— and being outside everyday— to help me process privately. I find that even being outdoors for a short bit reminds me that I am part of the world, yes I’m struggling but I am part of something larger than myself. I remember an older widow urging me to be outside everyday after my husband died out of the clear blue. That experience was much harder than a liver transplant.