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Can anyone tell me if medical marijuana is permitted pre-transplant?
Transplants | Last Active: Feb 4 5:01am | Replies (35)Comment receiving replies
I happened to be reading about the MC and stumbled upon this forum. I have a huge family but I haven’t spoken to a single person about this with the exception of my husband who is baffled by my reluctance to share even a headache never mind something so serious. But I have always been a very private /shy person.
I was seeing an oncologist because imaging showed a mass on my liver and was told I needed a biopsy. After months of labs (my levels were horrible) and ER visits/stays, no biopsy; the mass was no longer there. The oncologist let me know that I needed to choose a transplant team because I definitely needed a new liver. Quite frankly, in the moment I had stronger feelings of disappointment because I wouldn’t be seeing that particular physician anymore. Ironically, I didn’t even think about that until I wrote it just now. It might be because he was always blunt/no coddling.
Emotionally, I have always faced life very practically. I am sick, I need this procedure and regardless of the outcome, I’ve lived a great life and always try to be a positive, kind person.
What worries me is how my husband is doing. It can’t be easy (even though I’m not physically sick), for him. He’s always positive but it has to be weighing on him.
I would really appreciate some feedback on my not feeling obligated to share/talk about this. I realize I’m so close to it that I’m not being objective.
Thanks for responding, I already feel better just typing this.
Replies to "I happened to be reading about the MC and stumbled upon this forum. I have a..."
Hello Ferug,
I also worry about my husband. I find myself in a similar situation. Sitting on the fence of liver transplant since I am not seriously ill with too many symptoms. Liver is cirrhotic and now possible FMD with some kidney pain and possible aneurysms. I go to Mayo Jacksonville every three months from 6 hrs away in winter and 1200 miles away in summer. It is a small price to pay for keeping tabs on all that is going on but it wears on your emotional health. My husband and I have been married for over 50 years and he has his own health issues with his back. I hate the burden this has placed on him too.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It’s good to know others are feeling the same.
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@feruj Serious illness already throws a person out of their comfort zone, so I say stay in yours as a private, practical person. Perhaps your husband needs permission to share with another person to ease his burden? At first I was very private. I was also confused about how I could be so sick so suddenly, so I wanted a lot of privacy. I felt very exposed, similar to how I felt when my husband died suddenly when our daughter was little. I didn’t want to have all eyes on me again. I am also very private. I also come from a family of stiff upper lip WASPs. Just before I met the liver team I began sharing more freely because I had a plan in formation. It was helpful to share more and by now I am totally open about it but I do guard my emotions. For me it helped to create an “inner circle” after a certain point in time. My old mom, my partner of a few years, siblings, my 20 year old daughter, a couple of good friends. In retrospect I think being a little more open helped those caring for me (I cannot emphasize how sick I was at this point, I even had to moved into my mom’s place as it was not safe to be alone for long stretches) as I could see that they needed to share their burden. Everyone is different.
I wrote a lot to relieve the chaos is my brain. Often I just made notes in my iPhone Notes app while I was at the lab, Dr, hospitalized or home. I needed the release. You said writing your comments felt good- there is something magical about writing.
I find this forum to be a safe space and I read comments more than I write.
I also used walking as much as I could— and being outside everyday— to help me process privately. I find that even being outdoors for a short bit reminds me that I am part of the world, yes I’m struggling but I am part of something larger than myself. I remember an older widow urging me to be outside everyday after my husband died out of the clear blue. That experience was much harder than a liver transplant.