@sandralea58, I agree with everything that @sepdvm shared. While the treatment is focused on the patient, the cancer experience affects everyone, often in different ways. Your needs, especially now, do not take second place to his. While you may have been willing to put all emotions and needs on hold while you were BOTH going through the active treatment phase, it's time that you find equal ground. This is territory that @naturegirl5 revisits with her partner to keep the relationship and communication through tough times dealing with cancer, treatment, post treatment and through fear of recurrence.

Have you considered asking for an appointment with an oncology social worker for yourself? Most hospitals have social workers specialized in working with cancer patients and family members. All hospitals have social workers. I think you might find it helpful to talk to someone who may have helpful resources for you. What do you think?