So sorry you’re having a tough time and I think we’ve all had our ups and downs which is perfectly normal. As time goes on, you just realize that this is a part of who you are, and that’s OK. I really loved and admired my dad very much and when he was having intense back pain and I could see it by the expression on his face, instead of dwelling on the
pain, my dad would say “today is a good day, and tomorrow will be even better!” I loved his positive attitude and believe he was absolutely right! I wish the same for you.