I am 10 years out from Head and Neck SCC, with multiple surgeries for metastases. My husband also has cancer so I am caregiver as well as patient. The caregiver must keep herself healthy , including reducing mental stress, to keep from burning out. You cannot fix everything for her, and should accept that fact initially. You are going to help her, but you cannot do it all. Perhaps a therapist could help get her to understand the severity of her situation, so that she can take a bigger role in her own health care. Being strong and staying optimistic is important in dealing with cancer, so I hope you both can work as a team. Once you have a medical team, you won't feel so alone in this fight. Often a physician can get a referral started faster so I wonder if the diagnosing hospital would help to get things started in your area if requested. Sometimes an ER visit is needed to get the ball rolling for referral. If you have a referral center/teaching hospital nearby contacting their social workers might be helpful. The time frame is important, but more so if a highly aggressive cancer than one that is slow growing. I imagine you don't know anything about this tumor type yet. Good luck and be a vocal advocate for her health.