Procrastination

I hear you. This has been my issue all my life. I actually get in a state that I don't do anything and let things go and then overwhelmed. What my therapist suggested since I live alone is to have someone help me get started. I do not need someone here to tell me what to do or yell at me to get going like my what my family would do. I have worked on changing how I communicate with them and have boundaries with them. I can't have anyone here anyway with my auto immune diseases and safety from the killer virus. So solution: Therapist said how about using ZOOM. So set up with my sister a few hours away for her and I to be on ZOOM for two hours while she sorted her paperwork in her den for the extensive volunteer work she does since retired and I sorted paperwork and started a new filing system to keep it in check. I have issues need to resolve and boxed up older bank medical and insurance paperwork and labeled boxes to store in my closet. Also it helped with being overwhelmed and had someone around helped me. Now I am working on one area at a time - That take phone calls and that has been a hassle and issues where I need to set new passwords to access online what I need for other issues and overwhelmed as long wait times and wrong answers and all due to people working at home and people with virus out of work. So try to talk it out and get back to another sister in Iowa who I strategize with to get going. Procrastinating is what messes me up the most and know tied to my childhood issues of escapism of going inside from horror around me and see nothing around me then. So have to bring the support to me to be AWARE - No feeling overwhelmed when finished something does feel good. We all have to find a way - You started with this message. Keep on keeping on. Take Care.

Hello @erikas, I'm very interested in the types of therapy you mentioned. Do you know of any books on the subject? Thanks for listening, Lylamae

I was in a grief group and something the facilitator said came to mind when I read your post. She said that at some point you just have to put one foot in front of the other and get going. I have found this to be the case. I do not want to tackle certain things but I find the biggest hurtle over and over again is just started on them. Once I push myself to take a few baby steps I can often dive in.

Should you not have a sibling to Zoom with as jeanster suggested don't forget the T.V. I turned it on to watch a show while I tackled folding a large mound of laundry recently. I actually paid a tutor when I was working to help me to do what I had to do. This is what she taught me: Take a blank sheet of paper (Standard 8.5 X 11) and fold it in half, then fold it in the other direction in half so that you have four boxes. Now label the top left box Urgent, label the top right box Not Urgent. Label the bottom left box Urgent and Not Important. Then label the bottom right box Not Important and Not Urgent. Additionally make a small margin on the left hand side and label inside the top margin Important and inside the bottom margin Not Important. Now you are ready to fill in these boxes: i.e. Examples: Top under Urgent pay property taxes. Top under Not Urgent (Important) schedule acupuncture appointment. Below under Urgent + Not Imp. wash car. Finally under Not Imp. + Not urgent view neighbor's Christmas displays.

Should you find this format helpful you can even include a small right hand margin and place seven boxes on the top and seven on the bottom inside it for M, T, W, Th, Fri, Sat, and Sun. Then you can schedule your activities by the day you plan on doing them. My tutor emphasized the importance of scheduling fun activities too.

The biggest help to me however has been Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. There are many books out on this subject. The main Rochester Mayo Clinic Patient Library had several I recall. Hopefully they are open for business these days (?) and can provide you with their names by phone if you were to inquire.

I've suffered with procrastination as long as I can remember, but depression has only recently emerged fairly strongly. Gradually, over the years I developed habits of making to-do lists, and also a checklist of motivators for myself. I've never succeeded in getting myself to reliably and consistently work on at least one to-do each day, but I am trying, even though depression isn't helping. As penance for not working on a to-do, I try to get myself to write a plan and schedule of tasks to finish one of the to-dos I've been procrastinating about. Best wishes and regards to all. I'm still trying to think of some rewards and would be grateful for suggestions.

I have used a website called Flylady.com. There are several other websites out there to help hold you accountable, too, but Flylady has been the best for me. She has been there and has developed a system that will help you break through what's holding you back.

There are some good cognitive behavioral strategies out there for "behavioral activation". I just started doing some of this work with my therapist.

My current 2 favorites are:

1) I schedule a particular time slot to do something (start small) and when it's time, I either do it, or sit in the moment and don't do anything ELSE during that designated time. Normally, I would avoid the task and would sleep, watch TV, get on my phone, or substitute some other activity. But this requires staying in the moment and being mindful about that activity. It makes you think, "what is it about this that making it so hard?" It's not an exercise in ruminating or beating yourself up, but an opportunity to get real with yourself about your feelings on avoiding that particular task.

2) I set a timer for 15 or 20 minutes and agree with myself that I can stop the activity when the timer goes off or I can choose to continue if I feel motivated to. For me, it's getting started that is the hardest part.

Thank you so much! These are great suggestions. I will try them —if I don’t forget!

Birdiemomma, thanks for reply. Obviously, I've procrastinated getting back here, but I'll check Fly-lady. I hope you are well.

Kathleen11, this is great idea. Many thanks. I'm sorry I procrastinated getting back here. Best regards.

I am right there with you. I moved into my apartment back in September of last year and I'm still not settled in. I haven't cleaned since I've been here and it's a filthy mess. It's either too overwhelming, I'm too tired from sleep deprivation from severe insomnia or I'm not motivated because of my severe treatment resistant major depression. It's a horrible way to live. I do work part time as a Receptionist, so work is really draining on me, but I feel stuck and I can't make any progress.