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Lonely and Just want to talk with virtual friends here
Just Want to Talk | Last Active: Sep 13 5:01pm | Replies (212)Comment receiving replies
@ellamster I can really relate to your loneliness. I don't appear to be lonely but there's a depth to it that resonates with what you wrote in June. You're smart, you teach, have clients and know how to deal with loneliness. It's the hollowing out that concerns you. And me, too. I've enjoyed the Mayo Clinic Connect site and have responded earlier to you. Not being great at corresponding I've fallen behind in corresponding here on this site.
I'm just wondering if loneliness is a mature awareness of how things are, of "reality". Our society does a great job of veiling loneliness with endless stimulations. You might not even have time to realize the consequences of over stimulation. Seems to me that younger people (well, I'm 78) are into making fantasties real and older people are into making reality fantastic. We have invented language to assuage our sense of loneliness, to connect us with each other. In the last couple hundred years we've invented many others forms of connecting: cars, trains, planes, ships, radio, TV, movies, and on and on and on. Why, I believe it's possible to ignore, avoid, deny, dismiss those inner feelings of "hey, 'they' really don't get me, do they?". Up to a point. But not completely.
There loneliness and there's solitude. The one may affect the other. One hurts. The other is a relief from overstimulation. In my view loneliness is a way of reminding us that the world will not devote itself to making us happy, regardless of our contributions to it. Solitude is not, for me anyway, an end in itself but an opportunity to become resilient, to emerge, to evolve, to open up to possibilities that the passage of time has diminished.
I see you have many responses. You've hit upon a common awareness in others and in me. Thank you for being a catalyst in connecting. In that respect you are not alone. Best wishes.
Replies to "@ellamster I can really relate to your loneliness. I don't appear to be lonely but there's..."
I will write more to you soon, typing on the phone takes too much time and is in a tiny screen 😊
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This is long. If you don’t read it that’s ok but I’d like this to provide inspiration for people who read it. I don’t really know how to post this so I’m just writing a reply to the post about loneliness and solitude. This is going to be a very positive post. I am 72 and I live with two cats. We are very close and I love them. I retired 12 years ago and while I was working I worked, ate, and slept and didn’t have time to feel lonely. After I retired I began to attend an Episcopal church and now I consider the people there my “family”. I belong to two small (about 12 people)Bible Study Groups and a Prayer Group. We meet once a week at different times. I also volunteer for different ministries. I love what I do there. I like solitude and don’t feel lonely when I’m alone. I watch good movies on Netflix, read books, play games on my phone, some are interactive with other people, and, I will admit, spend some time on Facebook. I love Facebook for the jokes and the cat groups and I laugh a lot. It makes me smile to see a beautiful kitty and I have shared pictures of my 2 funny cats. Sometimes I clean the house and do chores like laundry. Every day things get squeezed in and get done. I sometimes worry that my positive attitude is due to the antidepressants I take (Wellbutrin and Lexapro and Trazadone) but my doctor says that if it’s working don’t worry. I heard someone say once “Life is easier with chemicals.”I see my daughter, son-in-law, and two teenage granddaughters pretty often. Now for the lonely side. I have had 2 total hip replacements. I was hospitalized for almost a week in 2019 with a very serious pneumonia. About 2 1/2 months ago I fell and fractured my hip and my sacrum and was in more pain than I believed was possible. I seriously considered ending it all but called 911 and went to ER instead. Pain and disablement from these happenings made me feel lonelier than sh** and depressed. I’m still healing from the fractures but I’m going to my activities now. Being connected to a supportive group works wonders for me. Sorry this is so long and is “all about me”.
Peace and Love ☮️❤️Maria