Victorious69 here. I am severely depressed and thot I saw a discussion group: JUST WANTED TO TALK. My profile is a laundry list of issues. * The severe low back pain that is excruciating,painful to stand up, walk. * Am caregiver to my 84 yr old husband who has PAD with severe constant pain and on set dementia with explosive out bursts. * *He also has the most screeching COPD choking coughing episodes. * If I wasn't immobilized by my back pain, I think I Could handle his increasing dementia better. I've notified our PC who won't see us til Dec 12. Our cardiologist and vein doc has run out of options and referred hubby to my spine doctor who suggests lamenectomy which my hubby rejects. My spine doc will try an intracept nerve abalation in December on me. I'm living on Norco which of course causes constipation to my already fibrin thick intestinal walls. * Have had relief from quarterly spinal epidurals. We have no family here in Stockton and I need some frequent household help having moved from a nice spacious two bedroom mobile home. Moved to retirement community in Stockton, can no longer afford so move again to one bedroom with absolutely no closet or storage space.My husband drives me crazy. I'd like to join specific group discussions but right now I NEED to vent. I frequently go lay down on heating pad, and have a messy unorganized apt. A person of faith, I try to address each problem one day at a time but I secretly wish I could end my life and drop out-of life. Have become stuck, mostly due to horrendous back pain. I used to take short walks and took exercise classes. Can do no longer. Both of us are on walkers. Have to do everything myself cause hubby can no longer help. Our son and wife live in Los Gatos, a hard worker and party boy. Will come to visit for only a FEW HOURS for birthdays etc., without his wife. I've had it and have no hope. Am still unpacking and downsizing all the stuff junk from our two bedroom large mobile home we sold in San Jose. Pay storage shed 5 miles away. I need someone to talk to about caregiving for spouse with dementia and someone in general to talk to. My Best friend and confidant died a few years back.
Hubby and I are in too much a.m. pain to make it to our church, so listen Sunday mornings on my cell phone. I do look for the things to be grateful for and all God's blessings but I NEED to talk to someone. Get a hug from someone. Miss my friend.