@ellamster
I felt close to tears reading your story. I have been close to where you are, and I finally found my answer. It was church and the fantastic women I've met there have loved on me so. My husband and I were looking for a new church and found one with a lot going on. In my case, I was uncomfortable with the young women with babies but I did give another, older perspective in our group studies. This church also had an "Over 50" group of women where I fit perfectly! We created a group called "FAB" (Fantastic Over 50) and meet in the church's open area every other month. I felt like the only person there who hadn't studied the Bible all my life, but no, I wasn't. We are all learning. We have Meal Trains for anyone who is sick and meet offsite at different homes, sometimes with a bottle of wine to talk about whatever anyone wants/needs. I worked with all men for many years in construction. When it was time to go home or just go for a drink after work it was with the guys. I didn't have women friends to sit with, celebrate a promotion or cry with about the difficult or the happy occasions. I recommend church/synagogue or a support group in your area. Check out the groups. Talk to the Pastor or person in charge of Adult Ministries. You never know, you might find more than just an earthly friend!