Thank you for this I guess I am just a weak person compared to what you say. Agreed I should try and do the things you suggest. My fears are justified in that my partner has emphysema and that in itself is a great concern. My fears of being alone are terrifying and not only that I love him deeply. My life is complicated and messy. I will try some of those things you mention. The pain is extraordinary and it stops me from operating in the normal way.