Can not believe its near the middle of Sept.

Still cleaning up the 5.3a ; price of scrape bottom out so its been rough; bob
cat has been very temperamental been down again and hoping it will stay working - not sure if will work way we want it to as had to go to fixed variable speed parts to expense and non-existent

Got his creation paid for in July and after a moving sale fund raiser and on large donation from the person who farm the farm land to my surprise. Also had a moving sale and it provide towards it too. That off my back - went around to the cemetery and his remains had finally been to in cremation house with his mom and dad and the year of death inscribe for him. Of course the sister/daughters did not help pay for their parents funeral or the cremation house, cemetery lots - I had to do that out of the farm rental money which was meant for our food, property taxes and trips to Indianapolis. The youngest even asked if I was paying for the brother who she had committed to Four County in 2005 - I said no as he had not been around and contributed to anything here - she was the one who had him sent away but he does have a space in the crematory house per his dad's wishes it would of been a blank space anyway. so that much is done

Have no seen hide nor hair or heard from his sisters - they did not help at all with his cremation expenses - not a word about the funeral home asking for donations to help or my personal fund raiser - I was ready to tell them where to stick it if they did.

Been working on landscaping at culver house - also got some flower, planted grass not sure if will have any - as weeds flourished and I had to pull the matting only on north front - because a new neighbor made the remark are you going to do any landscaping at time i was pulling weeds and rolling stones into place on property line and outlining flower beds -

Everything is moved up their that want to keep - left is metal shelving for basement in use here and the things i have up for sale on eBay but working on re-organizing them so can do a quick haul when time for that.

Worked on compacting everything out to the back part of the furnace/laundry room where the washer/dryer/frig/hot water heater is - front is for working on cleaning copper out of motors etc. some things went into bathroom - going to close off over half of the trailer and start working on tearing it apart - too far gone to leave and let someone else make a slum-rental out of it it was a half assed redone trailer when they got it back in 1994 not much got do ne after the wife/mother had her stroke went into nursing home - in Nov/Dec 2004; father open heart in 2009 and then his not making red blood cells in Nov. 2016 and then son with lung cancer... plus if I can scrape it out and make a little off of it and improve the property more... Will leave the furnace/laundry room area maybe not all of it only the back portion with the water works and electric box.

Have had a lot of sleepless nights still; feeling i made wrong decisions and feeling like a failure at times... saying is if it were not for bad luck i would have no luck at all

Wondering if I will make it but i will give it my all and probably die doing it - my firend who helping cleanup the 5.3a gets mad at me because i lift push heavy things and work till i can not walk any more but i can not let him do everything = even tho I will be 71 next month....

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