Hi Jeannie,
I can definitely relate to your hating/loving feelings towards your husband. My husband is also a selfish person who rarely thinks of others, including me. He has a sister who is even worse than him so it might be their upbringing. There are many things we try to overlook that bother us about their behavior, but then the guilt comes in, telling us “what do you expect from a sick person?”
We have gone thru buying things he couldn’t find, thousands of dollars worth, and a waiting list for later. If he gets carried away again with buying things, I can freeze the credit card he uses.
Have you consulted a lawyer to find out what your rights are regarding financial matters, especially since he has Dementia? You need to take over all of the household finances because soon enough, only you will
be responsible for your budget.
Being a caregiver, you need to find a hobby or “free time” - mine is reading after he goes to bed. It could be crocheting, piano, listening to music, whatever pleases you and makes you happy!
You are not alone in this journey. There are many caregivers on here venting and trying to find answers to questions. What you say here, stays here, and we also find comfort from others.