Emotional aftermath following breast cancer treatment

I 💗 “30 years ago”!

Thank you! Thank you for your comment!!! I too had breast cancer 8 years ago, 2 years ago and a reoccurrence last year! I went through a bilateral mastectomy this time! No implants this time. I want to be done! I have had 7 surgeries in 8 years. 5 years of tamoxifen. 6 months of chemo, 3 weeks of radiation and will have 5 months of a maintenance chemo drug. I am back to work, my hair is growing back and feeling much better. But emotionally-I need help. I am going through the day with a smile on my face, but I wish I could know for certain that I am done with this!!!

@rhongirl - Yes, telehealth would be perfect for you!
Most health insurances offer it, I think.

Oh, @kimann , our journeys can be so taxing. . . I'm sorry you've had to go through this again. I'm glad to hear you are back at work, and feeling better physically. And what a boost that your hair is growing back. :). I remember my spirits lifting when mine began to fill in.

I understand putting a smile on. . . we almost think we have to wear one, for others' benefit, and sometimes for our own. It can be good medicine for our soul to try to smile, especially when it is in response to focusing on those things that are good, true, honorable, and praiseworthy. Getting our mind in the game is most of the battle . . . and the smiles follow. I just love it when I have a good day, forgetting about the cancer.

The only thing certain for me is remembering that God holds my days. When I focus on that, I can settle on the inside - at least for a time. Bouts of infection, fatigue, and healing scars all remind me of where I've been and that things are not the same as they were before. It's a process of letting all that go. . . . one that I'm still working on. In the meantime, it helps to talk with and listen to others. I'm grateful for a safe space to share these thoughts with those who understand.

Have a great day @kimann

@lisman1408 Thank you for sharing this. What an incredibly bold, raw, and well-articulated article. I stopped on several phrases, just letting them sink in. "Breast cancer savages much more than breasts." A truer statement could not be written. I read this article in its entirety, reaching for each new sentence. What an incredibly telling piece. No, I am not alone in the feelings leftover from this extremely difficult ordeal. The self-inflicted sense of shame (because I am not "feeling wonderful") can be let go.

If anyone has not read this article, I'd encourage you to do so. Even if you are just starting your breast cancer journey, it's good to realize that it's okay to struggle - but that you can keep moving forward.

Thanks so much for sharing, @lisman1408

I’m wondering, as I’m wading through the emotional aftermath of cancer, how many of you have gone through depression after the very physical trauma of cancer has passed? And what has your experience been?

Hello @rhongirl I am really sorry you are still feeling this way. Cancer can be very traumatizing. Contrary to what the doctors told me, it wasn’t a year of treatment and then my life would be back to normal. That ship sailed with the first phone call I made and said “ I have a lump”.
I am going to tell you honestly that without a little better living through chemistry (Zoloft) I would not be here writing this today. I would be curled up in my room wanting the world to stop and let me off.
I know it is yet another drug, but I consider it the first cancer drug that actually made my quality of life better. The doctors tried a few others and I had a break from them at one point but frankly I am just………..better with this drug.
You have been through a lot, and you have a right to be happy again? It won’t always feel this way, even if it seems like it now. If you feel unsafe, please dial 988.
I would like to ask if you are mentally safe right now? Do you have a doctor following you now that you might talk to about this?

@auntieoakley thanks for your reply. Yes, I am safe in terms of my mental health status. I’m highly functional, but it’s just the way I’m rolling through it. I’m not myself…. Emotions are still rocking. I have spoken to a psychologist, and I’m doing ok. ….. but I’m not myself…. Sad, angry, scared. Everything heightened. It’s like my nerve endings are worn out. It feel like my body chemistry is off. When I had my hysterectomy in the midst of breast cancer (bc there were cells turning in my uterus), that was rough chemically. That began to settle after about 4 months, but I have been experiencing this longer term “rewiring” I call it. It’s like my body has to learn to live without a constant flux of cortisol from all the stress I was under. I’m not in fight-or-flight mode anymore, but my body was used to that for about two years…… so it’s trying to navigate the new normal.

I’d consider medications, but I react to much. So…. Trying to do what I can naturally (sleep, exercise, diet), and just give it time.

Rhongirl, what you are experiencing is not unique to breast cancer as you can see from this discussion in the Cancer: Managing Symptoms group:
- Emotional health after cancer: How are you doing really? https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/emotional-health-after-cancer/

While I moved you newest discussion to your original one:
- Emotional aftermath following breast cancer treatment https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/emotional-aftermath-following-breast-cancer-treatment/
I'd like to bring @roch and @lisaok into the discussion and highlight the specific questions you asked:
"How many of you have gone through depression after the very physical trauma of cancer has passed? And what has your experience been?"

@rhongirl My journey differs from yours only by cancer in a different place in my body. I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer in 2019 and my mood was good for 2 years until I had a recurrence in late 2021. After the initial shock of that recurrence diagnosis I had 5 weeks of radiation therapy at Mayo Clinic (I live far enough away that I chose to live in Rochester, MN during that period). I rang the bell when I finished. And I came home. Within a month after I came home I knew I was sinking down. It's like I "knew" what I was going through but I also knew I didn't feel it deep down. Like you, I'm functional, I can do what I need to do but I've been more anxious, irritable and depressed than I've been in many, many years. I was already on a low dose of duloxetine and I've thought many times of asking my doctor for an increase. I'm doing what I can with exercise, diet, meditation, and practicing acceptance and giving myself the time I need.

By the way, my partner has been somewhat baffled by my emotional response. He talked with HIS psychologist who has a background in oncology and he told my partner that my response (and yours, by the way) is very, very normal and common after treatment ends. The psychologist validated what I said so now my partner understands better. At least I hope he does. There is that initial elation followed by a downswing in mood.

Has cancer changed my life? Yes, most definitely. Does it make me grateful for every day. A reserved yes, but not the way many people who have not experienced cancer seem to think when I'm asked that question.