Wife Just Diagnosed w/ ES SCLC - What Can We Expect?

Things have taken a significant downturn in the past two days. Liz's liver and kidneys have begun to fail and today she lost the ability to communicate effectively. She can hear me, but is unable to process the words clearly in her mind. She came home today for the duration and we had an initial Hospice visit when she got home. A hospice nurse will be by each day to check on her to see if there is anything she needs that I am unable to provide.

We have stopped all medications other than pain and anxiety management drugs, as Liz is having a difficult time swallowing the medication. It looked like she was getting better just a few days ago, but this cancer has been very aggressive since day one. Thanks to everyone who has provided advice and support.

You have been an awesome care giver and voice for Liz through all of this. What a blessing you have been for her. These next days will be hard, please rest in the knowledge that you have given her the best possible life these last few months.

I saw your message tonight when I returned from the wake for my brother-in-laws Mom, whom I have known and loved for nearly 50 years. She was blessed to have several kids & their spouses, as well as a few grandkids, caring for her since March. In spite of the usual personal frictions, they all focused on her care and making her passing one of ease. Tonight it was obvious that all were at peace with having done all they could. Please give yourself, and all those who helped you, the same grace.

If they have not already offered, please ask your hospice team for sublingual drops for her 'pain and anxiety, so she doesn't have to struggle to swallow. Focus now on her comfort, don't worry about the clock or what others might say. Rest as you can.

Peace to Liz and to you. The world needs more selfless devotion like yours.
Sue

Bob, I’m so sorry to hear this.
Wishing you and your family peace during this difficult time. Hugs, Lisa

Bob, I am so sad to hear this. Cancer life is never a straight line and can be very cruel with its teases. As SUe has said this will be a hard time for you and sublingual drops for her 'pain and anxiety will work a lot faster and easier for you to administer. I used them for my mother.

I'm sure that some part of Liz's mind will understand everything that you have to say. Don't hold back on your feelings. The day before yesterday I had to say goodbye to a very close friend. We were girls together and have known each other for 59 years.

It's been an honor to Mentor you through this seemingly long journey. You have been an awesome caretaker for Liz. I know that it's often difficult to speak for someone else. But you have done an excellent job. I don't think that she lacked any care or comfort that she needed.

I'm sure that your girls and their partners are with you at this time.
I wish all of you a peaceful time with your mom. She knows that you are with her. Please take comfort in knowing that she knows that she is well loved.

It has been my honor to have been by your side Bob, through your journey. If the chance comes please let me know how you and your girls are. I'm always here for you. Don't second guess your care or what you did or could have done. There's a tendency for that but it serves no one.

As Liz slips away be at peace with the life that you had with her and the care that you have given her. It was everything that anyone could have done.

My love to you both,
Merry

Merry, beautifully said as is your writing talent and wise words for Bob and his family during this difficult time. Sue, your words of comfort also. You both help so many going through this ordeal either as patients or caretakers. Bless you.
Bob, I am so sorry and I hope you have told Liz it is okay to let go now.

Liz passed quietly in her sleep shortly after midnight. She was in no pain and I believe that she was ready to go, especially after everything she went through over the past several months. I want to thank everyone that was so supportive and it really did make it easier for us to adjust and accept the inevitable outcome. Her cancer was especially aggressive and I was so glad to hear of others who were able to beat or long-term manage their illness.

Bob, I know we all are very very sad to hear this even though it was expected. Our hearts go out to you and your children. I know you will hear from more of us today. Please take care of yourselves now. You took such good care of Liz. RIP Liz.

I am sad for you, your daughters and everyone else who knew and loved Liz, as death is difficult even when we expect it.
I am happy that Liz had such a loving and awesome caregiver and family to support her on this last journey.
Blessings to all of you. You are in my prayers as you grieve.
Sue

Oh, Bob. I am sorry that I didn't respond right away. I had surgery the next day and didn't turn on my computer for several days. Foot operations are very painful.

My heartfelt condolences for your loss of Liz and to your girls for the loss of their mom. Remember that the depth of your pain shows the depth of the love that you had for Liz. Don't let anyone cut that short or advise you otherwise. Do and feel what you and the girls need!

What a journey you and Liz had and what a nasty and evil thing cancer is and how much it takes from family and friends. I hope that as days go by that you will take some time for yourself. Grieving is very important and as very hard as it is, it's important to allow it to take place.

Don't second guess (which of course you will) what you said or did or didn't do for Liz.

My very best to you, Bob. I'm here if you need me but will be thankful that you get on with things that need for you to get on with you and the girls.

A very special hug to the three of you.

Merry

Bob, I add my thoughts with you and your family at this new part of your journey. Things are busy and all a bit of a blur right now. I want you to know that the community support you have found here continues.

If and when the time is right or the need is there, please reach out to us in this discussion. You're also welcome to join the
- Loss & Grief support group https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/loss-grief/

Sending you a gentle, virtual hug.