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DiscussionLonely and Just want to talk with virtual friends here
Just Want to Talk | Last Active: Sep 13 5:01pm | Replies (212)Comment receiving replies
Replies to "I struggle with your point of view "I notice they really work but I don't want..."
I’ve messed with my head for just about as long as I’ve had one, I guess. Sometimes self-administered like spinning real fast on a merry-go-round and trying to stand up, and other times when I went to a doc with a complaint and they gave me a drug which sometimes helped and sometimes didn’t. Other times I tried things offered to me at parties or various get-togethers, usually ones Harry Anslinger wouldn’t have approved of.
Point being, there are those of us for whom cheap thrills are just fine and others for whom quality of life includes not being depressed or in pain of various kinds when there are treatments available, while there are others for whom (as Donovan sang) “the natural high is the best high of all.” And there are others who find a middle path. I’m still trying to decide where I stand. I’m usually too busy jumping around to find out.
Good questions! Thank you.
I am hesitant to take drugs that may make me emotionally dependent. I don't want to feel I have to take them to feel good and want to know that what I enjoy is because it's natural. I sometimes take them though if things are very bad.
I have no problem with medication that I need to make my body function better such as blood pressure medication and the one for my heart; I take those and I need them. I am just afraid to mess with my head.
I was once told to use them and they really hit me hard: not only psychologically but also physically. I was in pain all day, could hardly walk and had to stop every half minute for instance, I could no longer climb the stairs in one go, it was all so terrible. My legs were burning, I had the shakes all day long. But that was the physical side. There was more.
I could no longer draw, and I lost my dreams and imagination; I used to paint and draw every day and I no longer could. The dreams were gone; instead of waking and remembering sheets full of dreams (I wrote them down, I would remember the smells, the way things felt, the colours) i had - nothing-. A void. No longer the dreamscapes; i was in mourning for quite a while. The creativity was gone, the talent to visualise things. It was all gone. And it never came back. Each time I remember this, as happens when I write this, makes me very, very sad.
So any medication that messes with my head is very difficult for me. I have no problem with medication for blood pressure, my heart, that kind of thing.