When I read this, I definitely relate. "One other challenge which complicates my diabetes is my food allergies and intolerances which activate/increase my IBS-diarrhea. Socially this is so harsh. "
We are a family with a plethora of food allergies, plus my diabetic husband who needs to watch his diet. I have a strategy for eating out that works for me, I learned it from a friend who cannot eat solid food, but joins our outings anyway. I know there will be little if anything on many menus for me, but try to find one thing to order, along with a beverage. I view this as social time only, and eat my main meal before or after the outing.
When it comes to social gatherings, I make sure the host/hostess know of my limitations, and if asked I will suggest one dish that I can eat. Or I offer to bring one if appropriate. Then I put a tiny dab of a few other foods, along with the allowable one, on my plate and join the group. I try never to make an issue of it, and ask my hosts to do the same. If I am urged to try something I cannot eat I just say "no thank you." I have lived with these limits for many years, and manage to maintain an active social life.
By the way, we have also developed a list of restaurants that can and will prepare safe foods, and will suggest them as destinations if asked for input.