Thank you SusanEllen.
I find asking for help very difficult because I always did things myself; I had to, or so I thought anyway. There hardly were people around and I always felt such a burden if ever I asked something; it sent me into 'must make up for it' mode for a long time, always feeling I owed them something 😀 For ages!!! So, better do it myself.

I have always been quite self-sufficient and could take care of things. After a disastrous relationship that I thankfully managed to end safely (although there is still a lot of damage to clear up) I tried a few things but finally gave up. I retreated from 'the world' but this obviously didn't help against the loneliness. I can't stand the fact that apparently; for some reason I do need friendship and meaningful interactions with people who are important to me (on an emotional level), and who find me important.

I tried to find groups but I am so shy that it's difficult to fit in. When I am talking to someone I don't really know yet I tend to either share too much or, since I noticed this, be 'distant' while being friendly. At work I put on a bright and shiny face and crack lots of jokes while passing on the knowledge but after work I am back to feeling, meh...
But I must say your post sparked something, I will try to find a group.