@erinal Welcome to MayoClinicConnect. I’m so sorry your Dad is so ill and the doctors feel there is nothing that can be done because of your Dad’s other problems. You have said that you don’t want to tell him, but do you think that he might suspect that he is extremely ill? Has he spoken to you or your mother about any of this? I was an oncology nurse and a member of the Palliative care team at our hospital and we frequently dealt with situations such as this. I have some suggestions that might help. First, it is so important to talk about all that is happening with your Dad and Mother. Keeping quiet will only add to the stress you already feel. Your Dad needs the opportunity to say the important things to his important people, his family.(I was sitting with my Dad towards the end and he started talking. I couldn’t understand him but I asked who he was talking to. He said his brother, who had died in the Korean War some 60 years ago. He felt that his brother was there to help him) There might be someone at the hospital or your priest/minister who can help facilitate the conversation. If you are unable to find someone to help, I can give you more suggestions on how to proceed, if you would like. I hope all goes well for you and your family at this difficult time. Please stay in touch with us. We care

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