Mrs O'Reilly went to the doctor and he told her to come back with a specimen .
Well, she didn't know what a specimen was so when she got home she asked her husband who was sitting in his arm chair reading his paper and smoking his cigar. Distracted he answered "I dunno, ask Mrs. Casey down the hall. She claims to know everything."
Half an hour later she came back. Her dress was torn, her hair was mussed and her lip was cut.
"What happened to you?" the startled husband asked
"I went to Mrs. Casey and she was busy doing a jigsaw puzzle so she hollered at me "Go pee in a bottle"."So I said to her to go crap in the lake and the fight was on!"