Lonely and Just want to talk with virtual friends here

Hi it's wonderful the joy your music is still in your heart ! I play guitar for a long long while I had broke my neck and been hard to get moderation and heart back but our loving LORD is a great inspiration he will heal us and bring our desires too use bless you ♥

Thank you @gimess for your encouragement. I hope you are mending comfortably and taking joy in the things you do. bless you for reaching out

I had an early morning dream. I was in a new home with my husband. I ran up to him to hold him crying and saying "You're alive, you're alive and I can hold you." That's when I woke up and I was in our old home and alone and lonely. There will be no picnics or fireworks watching for me. I could find some place to go and watch fireworks, but you are still alone. And it hurts so much.

It is 6:00 AM where I live. What a revelation reading about this. And here I thought I was the onl person who was lonely and alone. I have always had trouble making friends. I didn't know why but I figured out it was me. To know that there is something wrong with you is disheartening. I thought I would never marry, but I was fortunate to meet the love of my life and we married and had two sons. Unfortunately he recently passed away and shortly after that happened I had to go through a complete hip replacement. Living in our house is quiet and lonely. Even using up the last tube of his favorite toothpaste causes me to cry. I have started therapy. Only two sessions so far so don't know if it will help or not. What would have been our 60th anniversary is coming up. I do not look forward to that day. I stay at home most of the time because of COVID and also because I just cannot face interacting with people. My therapist is a very nice person. I hope I am not expecting too much from her. In addition I am already an octogenarian so I don't know how much time I have left. I am in relatively good health except for the hip, so who knows. But this is not living - it is just existing. I do check in here from time to time because I enjoy "meeting" all of you on the internet.

@thisismarilynb Glad you found Mayo Clinic Connect. How lucky to have found the love of your life and sorry for your loss at this time. As one in my mid sixties and not so fortunate in my marriage understand the loneliness at this stage of life. There are many nice people in this forum and hope this provides you some comfort.

@thisismarilynb I am glad you found this group discussion.
Any big changes such as the ones you have gone through, can leave a person reeling. Very glad to hear you have started seeing a therapist. Remember, it is not an instant fix, and you may find it takes a while to understand more about yourself and what you want to do. But you have made a step in the right direction, definitely!

We [and I include myself here!] often get so accustomed to living a certain way, day to day, that it takes a real looking back to see that we aren't as happy as we would like to be, lonelier than we want to be, and scared of how to make changes out of what has become our comfort zone. I know, I've been there. It starts with very little steps, to make changes. Being here on Mayo Clinic Connect is great. Have you thought about getting out to an in-person event, perhaps a book reading, or a get-together with others who have a common interest? Something connected with your faith community? What I found is if there is a focus on an event, or doings, I feel less pressure because everyone is also focused on that evebt. Hope that makes sense?

What type of thing would you like to consider doing, to make that little step?
Ginger

None of the above. Really. In addition to grief counseling, we are working on how to interact with people. I have never been able to do this. When I was a young girl and thought about what kind of a future I would like to have, it was always being alone. I never thought I would get married. I thought I would just work in an office as long as I could and would live somewhere in a rented room. Now I see how bleak that was. I was so fortunate to meet the man who married me and we raised a family together. We were married for 59 years. In a couple of weeks we would have celebrated our 60th anniversary. I am not ready to put myself out there and may never be. I will see if the therapist can help me with that.

@thisismarilynb Being a happy senior and not far from becoming an octogenarian hasn't prevented me from the experience of loneliness. Both my wife and I are disabled, though in different ways and only in the last 10 years or so. For me "Disabilities have to contend with social Expectations". I mean no matter how well I intellectualize these expectations, they get under my skin and move around like an infection telling me to be what I am not. Cough. Sweat. Sputter. Maybe I should this medication that will make me live happily, be appealing to others--of course, I have to check with my doctor first because the advertised medication has serious side effects which may lead to death, so don't take it if you are allergic to its ingredients (hmmm how would I know if I'm allergic or not). Here's what I can do: correspond with family and friends--wow, that makes me happy; play the piano--love Bach, Brahms, Rachmaninov, Chopin, Schumann and now I improvise a lot because my vision isn't great. Covid is making a serious impact on my wife and me. Just can't get out there like I used to. What is worse, though, is that I still expectations to go go go, do do do. There are days when I feel more like 87 than 78, which I am. But I feel good today.

You are not alone in feeling lonely. So glad you are seeing a therapist. Good for you. I love this Mayo Connect too. So great to connect and realize that solitude and loneliness are not the same, though they can get mixed in and mixed up. Best wishes to you, Ms Mb.

Thanks for replying. Every reply feels like a connection to someone. You say you are 78. That seems young to me. I could do everything then and so could my husband. We really did have a wonderful life and had many cruises that took us all around the world. He was 89 when he died. In two months I will be 88. But here's the thing, except for my hip, I feel like I am still in my forties. My husband's death and my hip replacement came one right after another and really knocked me for a loop. I am hoping that with help from the therapist and nature healing my hip I will start to regain some semblance of life.

Your reply makes me both happy and hopeful. I'm sorry you have to go through this rough patch but I am hopeful too that you will "...regain some semblance of life". You have a lively spirit eager to be expressed.