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Lonely and Just want to talk with virtual friends here
Due to 'life' I never had the opportunity to make friends. I hardly ever went out, am single, and feel desperately lonely. I can take care of myself and always have but have learned my caring skills weren't particularly good. They kept me alive but I have not lived.
No holidays, trips, bar, no beach or forest, nothing. And no friends to go out with or to simply have a chat.
I still work and I think my clients would be perplexed. They know me as a sunny and mischievous teacher who pulls their legs so they learn more, and trick them into doing things wrong to help understand it all even better. Little do they know. I am very alone and lonely. Being alone is not that big of a biggie: I know how to do that. But the loneliness is hollowing me out.
I wondered about making friends. I never had friends, I feel very awkward about friendship. I miss the person I am with clients in my daily life. I really would like someone to chat with. It would be so nice to even fall in love. To feel I am being loved. I never had that. It's so strange to realise so many are loved; is it normal to be loved, to find someone who loves you? Or is it the golden shine of being lucky and blessed enough to find this?
It would do me a lot of good to find people to chat with. Video for instance would be nice to get to know people. To chat, have a virtual cup of tea, or a real one of course! And to not be too ashamed of myself to hide behind the smiles and fun but to open up and maybe one day even be accepted.
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Hi poppyseed123. I'm a senior who is happy but also lonely. I feel a lot like you describe. Care-giving occupies a lot of my time but I'm also disabled with a neuromuscular hereditary condition. Until covid hit I worked out and stayed fit. I miss being with friends in person. Feeling isolated. I appreciate your candor--courageous. Thank you. Srhappy
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3 ReactionsLoved what you wrote emil. Thank you. I still play the piano, correspond electronically, talk to family far away on the phone, take care of my wife who also takes care of me. I've lost a lot of motivation to take care of self, sadly. However, I want to think I'm a happy senior who doesn't give up. I love your alleged quotation from Picasso about everyone being an artist until you begin to believe you're not. It helps me to admit it and to "Be Here Now" as much as I can.
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5 ReactionsSome of us are lonely due to circumstances beyond our control. I believe there is a name for it. Phsychopathic loneliness. Computer says I spelled it wrong - whatever. It seems no matter what I do I cannot make a friend. I have tried and tried. I go to groups. I reach out. It's all no good. I feel there must be a sign on me that says "do not have anything to do with this person." So I have made a choice. When I go to groups or reach out and am rejected, I feel hurt. So my choice is to stay home. Yes, it is lonely. But I guess it comes to which hurt do you choose.
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1 ReactionSo i wrote a long reply nd i just couldn’t post it due to net issues...
However tbh i was so happy to see your reply ... its like i gotta friend 🙂... hearing about your condition I really wish loads of good health to you ... 😌 Also all i want to say you please talk to me... cause ill always be there for you no matter what, talk your heart out cuz i know every caregiver needs some care too ...
Also it would be great for to have a friend to be able to talk to ... Nd one thing i m in my early 30s so it can be a lot of greatthings i can learn from you 😌
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2 ReactionsHow delightful, poppyseed, to find a kindred spirit. Your honesty and candor and I must say passion are so refreshing. I've been looking to correspond with a young person still full of curiosity, eager to explore, connect, reach out, learn and teach or share what you've discovered. You are a rich resource of experiences. I have had a great many. However, my mind is dulled now that its knife-edge hits the grinding wheel more in the center than on the edges to be sharpened. Where once philosophy was central to my interests, it has become less so and instead I improvise on the piano. Some years ago I could play the Brahms 2nd piano concerto from memory, though only played with music when I could find someone to play the orchestra reduced to second piano score. Please talk to me about what matters to you and I'll do the same. I can learn so much from you.
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2 ReactionsFascinating, Ell.. If you'd like to chat with me, let's give it a try. I do a lot of corresponding and consider myself very lucky. While being happy I am also quite challenged. I wish you well. I still believe we're all artists at heart trying to take the boulders of existence and shape them into angels of creativity.
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2 ReactionsHello @karenakv and welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. Thank you for joining the discussion to share some of your thoughts on how members can tackle loneliness.
Was there a particular member for whom you were responding to? If so, I would encourage you to use their handle such as @karenakv so that they are given a notification that you've replied specifically to them.
Have you dealt with feeling lonely recently or in the past?
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2 ReactionsDrop me a line or two any old time, srhappy. Whether you’re feeling lonesome or not. I’m sitting here staring at my guitar, mandolin and dulcimer trying to work up the energy to play something, but it’s just not there. Same thing with my paints and canvas. My 90% Chihuahua is sitting with me, dozing off after my monologues.
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3 ReactionsThanks, emil, for responding. I'm having an okay day and thought I'd just let you know how often I just don't get out and walk with my rollator. as you wrote, "it's just not there". I was able to coax a few tunes out of my electric piano, though. That felt very good. Whereas I used to walk regularly and work out at a gym before 2020, I've just sort of let that go and for no good reason. Just an excuse--my disability--that has leaked into my motivation and made it soggy. I hope you're having a good afternoon, perhaps dozing with your beloved Chihuahua. Peaceful image. Srhappy
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1 Reaction😌 what a blissful reply 🥺♥️
Nd woah u know how to play piano ...! Woow amazing i mean I’ve tried many a times to play it but i never get my fingers right on the keys ...😅
So why not make a YouTube channel and give some tutorials ... it would be fun and we’ll get a chance to learn from you ....
well besides as much as i love to learn new things and instruments i suck at them 🤭 i am a singer , i love to sing , and do arts and stuff though I’ve left alot of my hobbies as i dont find much of appreciations and resources ... i was a dreamer in everything ... may it be arts , science , forensics , designing ,philosophy , literature space science and what not i wanted to know them all ... but i forgot Just dreaming isn’t enough , it takes a village to accomplish what u desire nd i think i lack that village ... soooo! now its just me watching other people achieve their dreams ... and thts what makes me happy ...support them , help them encourage them do whatever that does make the person never give up ...
so @srhappy thats why id love to see you carry on anything you are passionate about 😌
Nd for me though a corner of me has very much died but the dreamer inside still awaits for right opportunities, right people around me ... and an undying hope that ill make some of it someday