@wolfbauer Hi Wolf. I’m so sorry for all that you’re going through. I can truly empathize with your feelings of depression and hopelessness. I also have POTS, SFN, autonomic dysfunction. For me the “flares” come and go but come without warning, so I know what you mean about fearing a flare while in public, at work, on a date, etc. I have a few thoughts to share….
As far as a job goes, I recommend focusing on a job that offers working remote/from home. Many companies transitioned to that after COVID and many are hiring. Also, as another person mentioned, perhaps you consider a disability attorney/advocate. Your doctor should be able to help you with the paperwork that demonstrates how severe your condition is and that would help you qualify for SSDI.
Have you been to cardiac rehabilitation? Or pain management programs? I just recently (this week!) had my first appointment with a cardiac rehabilitation doctor at Mayo. His job is to work with me on exercises and strengthening techniques that are safe and therapeutic specifically for POTS. As you know, exercise with POTS isn’t just difficult, it’s scary and potentially dangerous. I felt very motivated and hopeful after leaving my appointment. The goal is to improve my quality of life and as the doctor explained things, I’m very optimistic that his treatment will help. I’ve also been referred to Mayo PRC (pain rehab center). I’m not on the schedule yet but as I understand it, it’s an intense 3 week program designed to help those like us manage life with our conditions. I’ve heard very good things about it. A quick google search will take you to more information, testimonials, etc.
Lastly, dating. I’ll be honest, I didn’t even like dating as a “healthy” person. Now complicate it even more with these conditions and I’m tapping out! 🙃 Really though, I suggest googling it. You will find peoples stories, not only as a person with a condition, disease, disability, etc. but also from people who have/are dating someone with a condition. There may even be dating apps for people with conditions, I’m not sure.

If you don’t mind sharing, what medications do you take or have you tried? I’ve tried many and none really help the pain, although I found Amitriptyline to be helpful for depression and for some it also helps with pain. I tried a beta blocker for POTS and it’s also supposed to also help with anxiety but I didn’t do well on that medication. Everyone is different though, so it may work better for you.

I’m not sure if you’re new to this forum, but I find it very helpful to have people to talk to who really know what it’s like to live with the same conditions. It’s a great place for support and information, tips, etc. You’re in good company here. There is a page specific for neuropathy that you might want to check out too (probably one for POTS as well): https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/living-with-neuropathy-welcome-to-the-group/

I hope you find ways to cope and have support that will help you navigate through this. I’m here if you’d like to chat more, as are many others in this forum!

Wishing you well,
Robyn