Thank you for responding Amanda.
I am looking for a way to talk out/vent anonymously but without being a detriment to others as could happen using the group forums. I am looking for a trained person who will not be negatively affected by my negativity.
I have had thoughts of self harm/hatred since I was six years old.
I am on lexapro. (sorry for saying “I” so much) I have a lot of symptoms physical and mental that are making daily living difficult. I just want to be useful & helpful to my family (particularly my husband and ailing parents).
My husband is also on lexapro for anxiety and depression. I don’t want to bring him down further by venting my negativity to him. I also need to be productive for him and my parents.

Thanks