A woman went to her doctor for a bladder problem and he told her he needed a specimen from her. She didn't know what a specimen was and she didn't want to look dumb so she just went home to ask her husband.
"Hey, Sam, the doctor says I have to give him a specimen. Do you know what a specimen is?"
"Heck no. Go ask Mrs O'Reilly next door. She thinks she knows everything."
About 20 minutes later the wife came back all messed up, dress torn and hair all messed up.
"What the heck happened to you?" asked the shocked Sam.
"Well, I asked Mrs. O'Reilly what a specimen is and she told me to go pee in a bottle so I told her to go crap in the lake and the fight was on."