You are in the most difficult situation I can imagine. It is excruciating accompanying a loved one on this journey, knowing there is little you can do to change the course of her disease.

Please continue to find joy in the little moments. And remember that if it all becomes too much to handle in your home, there are options. My sister and her family just moved her mother-in-law to residential hospice this week because her cares became too much for 2 people at a time to manage. They are sad that they could not honor her wish to be at home, but we know from prior experience that she and the family will receive loving care there.
Sue

@deek15redpeppers: I so feel for you. I don't post quite often but I read all posts from the caregivers. My husband has bladder cancer, and I've been on this journey together with him to battle this disease since August 2021. It hasn't been easy. For example, yesterday was one of those days when I felt there was nothing left in my reservoir to give.

My way of coping is to spend one hour a day alone, some days I let all my tears out during that hour, punch the boxing bag in the garage, some days I do yoga and try to meditate, I follow those yoga and meditation programs on Youtube. I started to read books again lately, I have been so depressed since his diagnosis and so overwhelmed by the day-to-day caregiving tasks that I was not able to focus to even read books for a long time. I just finished the book "Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End" by Dr. Atul Gawande. It is a good book, helped me to some extent put things in perspective.

Like some other caregivers mentioned here, maintain a sense of gratitude and appreciate small joys here and there also helped me snap out of depression and be there for him.

Last but not least, know that you are not alone, when you feel really down, post something here and we are all with you! There is no judgement whatsoever here, we are all in this together!