Welcome, @jan62. I am glad you dropped right into a meaningful discussion. And you have been able to clarify your own experiences with loneliness. I notice that you separated alone and lonely. I also agree with you. They are very different feelings. I enjoy being alone in nature, listening to the birds sing and waiting for the chipmunks to appear in the morning from every corner of the yard. Sometimes being alone gives you a good chance to meditate a bit and have a heartfelt chat with yourself.

And then there are friends. I am a newcomer to this area and have somehow been able to find a couple of groups that fill my loneliness needs. I play Mahjongg every Wednesday usually with a different group of four every week. That time goes quickly. I also have long conversations with old friends every few months or so. My longest friend and I have been together since first grade and that is about 75 years. We still have lots to reminisce about, and memories to revisit. Our chats can last three hours.

My newest group is a sangha that includes about 10 ladies. We meditate on Zoom every Thursday evening and have been together for about 8 years. Recently we started a once-a-month "fun" evening face to face. That experience is quite different and some are more ready than others to give themselves this experience.

My mask has always been available for public appearances or as the manager or leader of a workgroup. My best work time was when I owned the business myself. It was an art gallery and I grew to know the artists quite well. They too thrive and produce when they have alone time and often find it difficult to be out and about with others.

You know, I don't think I can agree with the position that you are selfish if you take care of yourself. However, I will leave that alone this evening. Perhaps you can give me some examples.

I look forward to continuing this discussion. Where do we go next?

May you have happiness and the causes of happiness.
Chris