My wife has BPD. The fact that you are even willing to consider that you have it is significant, as most people with it supposedly won't.

I'm not an expert nor a professional on the topic. But I obviously have experience with my wife. I've also read several books and articles on the topic, and I have some experience talking with a psychologist about it. Probably the best advice I can give you is to try and find a mental health provider with experience treating BPD. Since it sounds like you may be from a smaller community, you may want to search for one in a different city. Larger cities are more likely to have someone with more experience as well. Counseling has been found to be very effective. They may also prescribe medication to help with the depression.